c n t r 0 L

Check out Bijou Box Jewelry!

2012-01-19T17:11:00.002-05:00

Bijou Box supplies you with all the accessory satisfaction you need!
Intricately designed one of a kind handmade jewelry for any occasion!
Affordable & soulful!

When "one of a kind" is mentioned, it's just that. Bijou Box rarely makes duplicates of any
of the jewelry seen on the site. If any, there are at most, two of a single
design. So you're really getting something special that you won't find anywhere else.

Bijou Box also takes pride in the supplies used. All supplies are imported
from all over the world; i.e. beautiful, fragrant, sandalwood beads imported
from India. Dyed beads imported from souks through out the
Middle East/Africa (Morocco, Dubai, Qatar, Egypt), Tibetan silver charms, crosses,
beads, hand carved yak bone beads, hand carved buddha beads, etc.
As well as imported South American gemstone beads, jade beads from Eastern Asia,
and exclusive Swarovski element beads from accredited sellers.

Take a look and leave some feedback!

Are you Bijou Box chic?

New to CUPCAKIN!

2011-04-16T21:44:00.003-04:00

CHECK OUT HTTP://GETCUPCAKIN.BLOGSPOT.COM
TODAY TO SEE THE BRAND NEW LINE OF
STACKABLE STUDDED FASHION BRACELETS!

Book Review: Janet Jackson's True You

2011-02-14T01:09:00.003-05:00

Self-esteem, self-image, weight loss, & weight gain, are topics that we hear about constantly in today's day and age. Most people blame the ideas of idyllic perfection that people obsess over, on the media and the images celebrities impose on audiences; whether through print images, commercials on television, or music videos, the images produced, sold, and shown to us today have effected millions of people around the world. For Janet Jackson however, a world renouned superstar, praised for her musical prowess, and thrilling good looks, has sulked in her own despair due to the same issues plaguing the likes of you and I.

In her first book, "True You: A Journey To Finding and Loving Yourself", Janet writes candidly and extremely openly about her bouts with her own debilitating issues of self-image, doubt, and self-esteem. Starting from the age of six, she penned that she always remembered comparing herself and her looks to those of her older sisters, insinuating that even at such a tender age, she felt that she needed to look a certain way to feel a sense of happiness. Janet encourages the discovery of uniqueness and for each individual to know what it is that is special about them, a trait she says she lacked. She writes,

"At age six though, I didn't have the slightest clue about my uniqueness. All I knew was that my sister was the most beautiful woman in the world ---- and I would never come close to her beauty. At six, I was already feeling bad about myself."

She remembers children in school singling her out because of her race, her hair being different, and comparing herself to the smaller, skinnier girls in her classes. She also dwells heavily on the teasing she endured from her own siblings, Michael in particular. Janet writes that she was constantly told her body did not look the way that it "should look", or that her butt was, "too big", or that she "ate too much".

She recalls one occassion when Michael introduced her to someone who Janet thought was much thinner and prettier than she was, a girl named "Andy"; A disguised name to protect the identity of the real person. Janet recalls a slight obsession with the girl who Michael found to be ideal in his eyes. Andy became a conscious figure of perfection in Janet's mind and she took on Andy's hobby of horseback riding, even though Janet was and is, allergic to horses.

When she was older, upon the thinking that she was completely over her issues, Janet found herself checking into a hotel using the name, "Andy", bringing back the idea that she still very much so, wanted to be that "thinner, prettier, svelte" girl that her older brother gushed over. Her rooted issues, were still with her.

In this book, Janet shares many stories from her own childhood, teen years, and adulthood that have plagued her and her constant battle with herself and her self-image for years. Some stories discuss her fear of eating. As a young school girl, Janet would sometimes skip all her meals during the day and find herself binge eating in the evenings. Once instance she remembers coming home from school after skipping breakfast and lunch and spying a sweet potato pie, which she devoured out of sheer hunger. She described the happiness and satisfaction she found that came after eating. A happiness that pillowed the guilt of her skipping meals. She says,

"Food was an enemy, food was a friend, food was a comfort."

This would be a line Janet lived by for the next 20-something years of her life.
There was also a moment in Janet's life where ontop of her lingering issues with weight and self-esteem, that she became focused on breaking free and adopted the mindset that she needed to take control. Later learning that the control she wanted so desperately, was really a need for the ability to speak her mind, something she feared, living under her father's roof. Janet discusses the breaking away from her family and writing and creating the "Control" album. However, she soon discovered that the idea of total control was a facade, writing,

"I'm still addicted to control, but I also know that an attraction to control can become an addiction. The more I have, the more I want. Just as there is no drink that will set the alcoholic free, no drug to liberate the junkie, there is no amount of control that will satisfy that kind of freak. "
"We work to do the best we can and be the best we can. But can we control it all? We can't. And when we finally stop trying, we realize the benefits of relaxation, acceptance, and peace of mind."

Words written like someone who is finally at peace with letting things just be. Although, before reaching this level of peace, this fascination with control increased her on-going battle with her body image. Even after critical acclaim in the media for her work as a singer and performer, Janet felt the pressure from every direction. One in particular, after praise for her album, Control the executives at Janet's label felt that it would be best if she appear thinner in her video for "What Have You Done For Me Lately?". And, in being the quiet, follower of directions, Janet abided. However, she writes,

"It was a time in my life when I should have been enjoying success. But I wasn't. In many ways, whether in control or not, I was still preoccupied about body rather than soul. I knew I had to change."

But even then, Janet still felt the heavy-weight of her deep self-consciousness. Slimming down for her "Love Will Never Do (Without You)" video, Janet was praised for how great she looked, until someone close to her said, "You can't be seen in public like that. You look nothing like your video, nothing like your television appearances. You can't go out." A statement Janet writes, "..contributed to my depression."

She began to shut herself out from the world.

She was a compulsive worker, and with the release of the janet. album, she admitted that the pressure she was under to maintain herself went too far. She writes of abusing laxatives and dangerously undereating; actions she says are, "not worth it, don't do it. It's not true you."

Janet's continued journey enlists the ideas of self-doubt and self-condemnation. During periods of time between Rhythmn Nation and janet., she recalls the memories of comparing herself to her sister, her public image, caused despair and extreme mood swings. As well as the constant weight fluctuation. Her self-doubt went so deep that she even questioned her ability as an entertainer writing,

"How could I have been so naive? How could I have fooled myself into believing that I was actually a good entertainer?"

A line, that to most, seems ridiculous. That, Janet Jackson would question her ability and talent. But this is the truth that she needed to reveal to get the message across that we all need to be open about our troubles. She speaks adamantly about how if she was able to confide her inner most fears and thoughts to someone, that maybe she would have never felt so alone. The feeling of being alone in her feelings and confusion, to Janet, is what broke her and started the foundation of her most inner issues with herself.

This book, with every story of Janet's told, and stories from her friends and fans, she constantly reminds the reader that the pain can be decreased if only you are truthful with yourself and speak up about it with anyone who will listen. True You is basically a guide for anyone who deals with daily feelings of inadequacy, weight issues, saddness, depression, and any and all feelings that stop you from being yourself.

A man whose story Janet reveals in one chapter, discusses his bout in rehab and she asked him what the experience was like in the rehab center he attended and he told her,

"The biggest eye-opener for me was this simple realization that I hadn't been taking care of myself. And, to be honest, I didn't even know what it was like to take care of myself."

He also discussed the power of giving up control, when situations and feelings are out of control and too overwhelming saying,

"The surrender and admission were monumental. Because the
paradox is that most of us need others---other people, programs, and
prayers---to show us how to care for ourselves. Yes, and how to
love."

The journey we all face, does not always have to be a lonely one -- it's the basic under-lying message of this book. Jackson writes that running away, changing cities, or dying your hair, won't change or erase the issues you have. The moment that issue shows it's ugly head, in an unannounced and intruding way, that new hair color won't disguise you. That new city won't hide you. And running away, will always lead you to your problems door step.

Janet's aim is to simply help people realize that these issues facing them, are universal and that there is always someone, somewhere, willing to lend an ear. An ear she wish she leaned into as a young child, teenager, and even as a young adult.

It is a really inspirational, eye-opening, uplighting, and freeing book to read. There's an innate connection within the pages and all the stories shared; Janet Jackson is one of us and her journey is no different than the next persons. Your story too, can end up enlightened and with a well-deserved peace of mind. We all, as human beings, deserve that chance to be heard and healed no matter what it is that is troubling our ability to live life freely and happily. Janet's message is clear,

"I am me, the true me; you are you, the true you---and that's good. That's beautiful. That's enough."

Excerpts from Janet's interview on TODAY

2011-02-07T19:44:00.001-05:00

Janet Jackson used to bang her head off walls because she felt so ugly.

The 44-year-old singer admits she has always struggled with her self-confidence, and though she now feels more comfortable with her appearance than she did in her 20s, she still has periods of feeling unattractive.

She said: "I would literally bang my head up against the wall because I didn't feel attractive. There was a lot of pain in my life. But I did. I felt very unattractive.

"I still have issues with it. I don't bang my head up against the wall, but I still have those moments. And I think it'll probably continue but at least I know how to deal with it now. And I'm in a much better space."

Janet - the sister of the late Michael Jackson - believes many of her insecurities stem from the nicknames she was given by her brothers, including "horse, pig, cow, and slaughter-hog".

She admitted in an interview with 'Today' host Meredith Viera: "It makes you laugh, it really does. It makes you laugh. I guess some people could say, 'Oh that's, you know, brothers and sisters joking, it's all affection, it's all, you know, it's in a loving way.' But not everybody can brush it off, and I was one of those."

The 'Together Again' hitmaker also spoke about her relationship with her father Joe Jackson, admitting he banned her from calling him 'Dad'.

She recalled: "He said, 'I'm Joseph to you. You do not call me dad.' That affects you as a kid. I know my father loves me. He just has a very, very different way of showing it."

Janet's interview will be broadcast on 'Today' on Friday (11.02.11)
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Adele - 21

2011-02-02T18:57:00.003-05:00

I recently gave a listen to Adele's new album simply titled, 21. It's the songstress's 2nd album, following her first work, 19. To be completely honest, I always kept Duffy and Adele in the same boat singing & song wise. The first round, went to Duffy's Rockferry. I was pleased with Adele's 19, however I fell into lust with Rockferry as soon as I heard the album sampler I received from Universal.

Not to take from Adele, 19 was a very well sung and sweetly penned album. However, for the 22 year old Brit, 21 has a few charmers and blows Duffy's 2nd effort Endlessly completely out of the water. The singer's writing skills have flourished and her seamless lyrics and heart-heavy, gritty vocals will hit you in every sensitive spot your heart has failed to mend. Happy-go-lucky, beware. This album is a full-on wallow in bittersweet break-ups.

The first single, "Rolling In The Deep" is a churning "I'm going to make you feel my pain" chant. The melody is deep and the the drums follow the revenge in her voice. Her attitude makes this song flow perfectly. A great choice in a first single.

The second song, "Rumor Has It" will fool you about this album at first, making you believe this is an attitude infused, empowering, funk album with it's sass and lyrics such as, "You made my heart melt, yet I'm cold to the core, But rumour has it I'm the one you're leaving her for.." But don't be fooled. The road traveled after this song, is a very rocky one.

Songs like, "Turning Tables" and the remake "Lovesong" are afflicting and tell the stories of love lost and the painful remnants left behind; Two of the best on the album next to first and second tracks.

Trying something new, Adele showcased her recent fascination for country music giving "Do You Remember", one of the four songs produced by super-producer Rick Rubin (Johnny Cash, Beastie Boys). Sadly, an idea of this song actually working, never really has a chance to show itself.

"He Won't Go" and the unfortunate disarray of "Set Fire To The Rain" mask the singers vocals and she falls victim to less than pleasant ballads.

The closer, "Someone Like You" although, is an enchanting and sizzling reminder that there is, or was, a well-leveled album within the singers hands at one point or another. But regrettably, there weren't as many chills sent through the speakers as was hoped.

Nonetheless, Adele's sophomore effort was an admissible try. The songs worth listening to are gems but the flailing misses, go right over your head.

Rating: ***

Colorful Cakes

2010-04-28T22:59:00.001-04:00

I love this

Random

2010-04-21T03:13:00.002-04:00

So I know I've been neglecting my blog. Do I have a reason? No. Not really. I just haven't felt like being here. LOL.

Matter of fact, right now, I have NO reason to write, simply because...I don't think I have anything to write ABOUT. Life has just been being, life..quite frankly. I've just been..existing.

That sounds so lame but it's true. I've been re-upping things on Cakin' and taking orders. Which takes up most of my time. School is just..school. Ew. I hate it. I'm like..a professional fucking student. If it weren't for my parents being so pressed on me receiving a paper to legitimize what I'm ALREADY doing, I would've already started my business and looking for store fronts or something. Honestly, I have credits in Journalism, Visual Arts, and now Small Business Studies. I don't want to do this shit anymore. I feel like, the more I stay in school, the more lost I get on choosing a damn major. I'm a Cancer..so I want everything that I love in one place and quite frankly, I love a lot of things that are scattered all over the spectrum of getting a degree.

It's so stupid.

Anywho...I'm DOING IT. Am I retaining? Probably not. But whatever. It's free so..*throws hands in air*

What else is going on? Um...summer is coming. Thank GOD! And I've finally started to lose weight. Noooooo...I don't think I'm fat or any of that. But I wasn't comfortable being 5'4" and 132 lbs. I had gained a good 10-15 in the past year and a half and I felt gross for a period of time.

Now, I weigh 125 and I'd be happy keeping this..those extra pounds off made a nice difference. A couple more weeks of walking and keeping my intake of NASTY red meat monitored..I'm straight.

I say NASTY because...I watched Food Inc a few weeks ago..and...EW. America is so fucked up for the way they distribute our food. If you haven't seen it. Rent it, buy it..it's going to air on PBS April 21st. So watch for it. Set your DVR.

One thing you will probably CHANGE forever...is your amount of visits, if any, to fast food places. *GAG ME* Sooooooooooooo disgusting.

I was so ashamed of myself today..I ate a hot dog because I was starving and...no one had gone food shopping and it was between a hot dog or lemonade girl scout cookies. And I don't like lemon on my cookies. SO......yeah. LOL!

Anyways..I dont have anything else to talk about. This is a dead end street tonight LMAO. Sorry.

Maybe I'll be back in the AM with something more mind-blowing.

Janet Loves Us

2010-04-17T01:21:00.003-04:00

"I can't thank them enough. I cannot thank them enough - they've always been there for me, through the ups and through the downs. They've always been so supportive of myself and my family and just thank you for being so loving and so caring and being so important in my life and just enjoying and holding my hand when I especially needed it. Y'know everybody needs to hear words of encouragement at times, and they're always there at the right moment to give me that. And I thank them for that."

We love you always, Jan!

I Met Janet...AGAIN!

2010-03-24T02:34:00.001-04:00

Went to the Why Did I Get Married Too? Premiere in NYC on monday night and it was AMAZING and we also got in to see the MOVIE! PHENOMENAL!

GO SEE IT APRIL 2ND!

Am I Insensitive?

2010-01-20T05:57:00.000-05:00

This will be a quick post..

Is getting involved with someone who just ended a relationship...insensitive?

I mean, I'm fully aware of the time needed to get past such a situation and I'm completely aware of his feelings. Infact, I give as much advice as possible...however, I am also aware that this may also go nowhere because of this..

With that said, I still feel kind of...wrong or at least, selfish in one way or another because at some point or another I know I'm going to start pushing aside the fact that he does have something he's trying to move on from.

Although...I think I'm pretty worth moving forward to...lmao.

*slaps self*

I just...don't know anymore. I used to be so good at these things with others, smh!
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

"This can't b good.."

2010-01-19T05:58:00.000-05:00

Here I am....at 5:45 AM, restless, woken up from my sleep because my mind won't stop thinking and getting way ahead of the present. And I'm not the least bit mad because my thoughts are so....; I like them. I really do, but...

I can't help but think "what the fuck are you doing?!" I feel like...I DONT EVEN KNOW! I am a damn mess and then some! I am in way over my head. I think I've gotten way too involved in this situation that I clearly, may not even be recognized for. I may be a stand in for all I know and here I am putting every bit of my heart and brain power into it. I'm having these feelings that...I find hard to believe may be reciprocated in anyway, at anytime.

And I don't care.

That's the thing! I don't care! Because it feels so right. This....thing, hasn't even escalated and every inch of me is saying, "Yes!" Maybe I'm lulled by the sheer vulnerability of the situation, or the fact that I somehow believe that this is the exact dose of life I need with me.

Maybe..but one thing I'm sure of, is that I've been waiting for something like this for the longest time. And I don't plan on letting it pass me by.

For now..I hope this entry eases my mind...I go back to school @ 11 AM LOL

xoxo

;)
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

New Sade Video

2010-01-11T23:19:00.001-05:00

Yes!!!! <3 Sade

CAKIN' Giveway !!

2010-01-11T18:21:00.003-05:00

YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!!

This giveaway marks the new direction I'm taking with CAKIN' Jewelry!
More fashion forward, more creative, and more fabulous!

GetCupCAKIN'!

My, How Things Have Changed..

2010-01-08T02:13:00.004-05:00

WooHoo! This is my 402nd post! & January 22nd marks cntr0l's 4th blogaversary!

So, disregard that previous repost. I noticed it was missing from my blog and have no idea why. So I got it off my backed up folder of blog entries and put it back in it's rightful place...here on my blog LOL.

Anywho, that re-post...comes at a time of complete opposition to the subject matter lol. All those people, are no longer "options". Yes, 'tis true...I kept shit moving. *dusts shoulders* You can only play the game for so long and well, I got kind of fed up with ALL of their bullshit. The immaturity, the lack of life, and...so on and so forth. I would like to believe I'm worth a lot more than the low quality companionship they could ever offer me.

............I just made that one up lol. I hope it sounded okay haha.

In recent months, I've come to cut those options off. And good thing. "Rich" was acting like I owed him something...what for? Your guess is better than mine. I suppose he's mad now that I don't pay him any attention anymore. Sorry, but I cannot waste my time, homie.

"Larry" well...I never got back to him on the drink front. Therefore, we never hung out again and y'know....although he was nice and everything....just no. I fell out of like with him. He got super dull and the last conversation we had, he talked about some crazy sport thing..that I, clearly, had no interest in. Hence, my lack of memory on the topic.

"Abe" well..he'll ALWAYS be around and I know that. Infact, we hung out once since the post. It was nice and also made me realize that he and I will never ever ever ever be. I kind of saw who he really is and as confident and amazing as I always thought he was, I realized that he's really just as insecure and, I hate to say it, crazy as any other person I'd like to punch in the mouth for just talking entirely too much about themselves and having no idea who they are in the first place. He's still a nice guy though..but..he can just stay a family friend. LOL.

Which would now leave me...entirely independent and thinking solely about myself right? Wrong.

Though I did enjoy a couple of weeks of "no interest in anyone" .... something kind of developed. And TRUSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSST me when I say...It's not even an option yet. I mean, I hope it can become that but at the moment, we are friends. He's a nice guy, good heart from what I can tell so far, and he kind of offers everything I like. There are some set backs and if's about him that mostly have to do with a situation (jersey shhh-waah) he's currently in. All in all however, he has a good rep sheet and it doesn't hurt that he's gorgeous. lol.

But you know what though? I'm just happy to have met a new friend. I am willing to give it time, and if it doesn't work out that way then fine. I'd be happy with just a friendship.....a friendship with a gorgeous friend LMAO

So we'll see.

You know I'll keep you updated, hardcore.

ttyl loves.

xoxo

Re-Post: Options 10/09

2010-01-08T02:12:00.002-05:00

Once again, I've woken up at 2:30AM and can't fall back to sleep so here I am. I want to dive into a topic I've been discussing with friends a great deal as of late. My "commitment issues". Now, I don't really know if I necessarily don't want to commit to anyone or if it's just my selfishness overcoming me. lol. Either way, it's a problem. To an extent.

So basically, I've been single for...let's see..two years and....since January 2007. There. That's easier. I guess to get a clearer understanding of everything, I'll let you know what happened with that. We broke up because shit was just not right. (You can curse me out later but you're so far gone it wouldn't matter) He had issues in bed, so our intimacy level was never there, therefore I felt like there were issues elsewhere. I never really found out where his issues stemmed from while we were together --either way, I had to let go. It was a stagnant toxic environment and it wasn't any good for either of us. I was the one who broke it off and I had prepared myself weeks in advance for it so when it happened, I guess I seemed like a cold-hearted bitch...but I did what I had to do. Plus it didn't help that he flipped out and cried. I just never understood why he didn't see it coming.

He was a good person...so it seemed. In general, he seemed to have a good heart. Then a year or so after we broke up, he told me his situation during our relationship. Emotional infidelity. Nice of him right? I was better off not knowing that he talked to his ex-girlfriend, who mind you, hated me, almost everyday while we were together. Although, I always felt he never really told me anything that he was feeling. There was this massive invisible brick wall between us...I always knew it...except I found out two years later there were three people in our relationship, not two.

To this day, we try to hang out but he has a new girlfriend and well, wouldn't she like to know all the times we hung out and he lied to her about it. Y'know the text "what are you doing baby?" "oh im home about to fall asleep" Lie. You're out with me and my friends drinking. I guess that's really who he is. Not that there's anything for him to lie about, we're not like that. Trust me, we tried that a couple times after we broke up and he still didn't work. Maybe he has a complex about me. Who knows.

So that was that. Since then..I have options. I don't let anyone in too deep. I should'nt even say that...I really don't let anyone in at all. These options, they like me, I do like them, I just stiffen up and get real defensive when it goes anywhere further than that. I've been trying to change that. One of them is really worth breaking down those walls for, I think. Although our time may have passed. Let me progress.

Let's call my "options" Rich, Larry, & Abe. (LMAO)

Rich is the kind of guy who has a bunch of girls for friends. He's sensitive, he's sweet, and he's just a swell guy. I have history with Rich (not that kind). We go back many years as friends. Rich and I started getting closer as friends last year or so and duh, there's a lot of sexual tension there. I have no idea why. Trust me, I'd love to give in to it butttttttttttt....in the bigger picture, he's not my type. He's very lose with his appearance, he really doesn't care much about anything besides beer and sports. Gag me. Seriously. The only good thing about him is that is extra-sensitive to females. And that isn't always a good thing, being that if anything did happen between us. He has a psycho ex-girlfriend and a lot of parties at his house. I'm not the one to be worrying or over-thinking. So, I just hit him up whenever he's home and we hang out. He's good company and I enjoy talking to him. Sometimes he even lets me know how bad he wants me, and I love it. LOL. Hey, look...it's good to know once in awhile!

Larry, is the guy I think is worth it. He's adorably handsome, he's smart, he's motivated, and definitely my type. I don't know much about Larry but I know enough at this point. Larry & I went out on two dates after we met. It was really nice -- he was nice. I've never gone on a date, ever in the past...so this year was a first for me with Larry. LOL. I was actually nervous with him. Not on the first date, on the second. I couldn't figure out why but I was and I kind of liked it. The third time we hung out, it just so happened I was with friends and we met up somewhere. My friends got in his face (not literally) and were asking him what his intentions are, etc. Like a father would. I love my friends but what the fuck? LOL However, Larry laughed it off and took it. I secretly enjoyed that. But like I do a lot with guys I know that I like / like me nowadays, I tried so hard to play it off; I didn't make it seem like I was got at all around my friends. I have no idea why I do that but it just happens. I'm not one for PDA or just coming out and expressing how I feel like that. I'm the one known to be so hard to break. So while we sat and talked, I kind of felt like I was ignoring Larry around my friends. Trying so hard to play it off like it wasn't even that serious. "He took me out...big deal" kind of thing. And I hate myself for being like that.

I drove Larry home that night and he tried to reach over and hold my hand and...I just turned and looked at him like "what are you doing?" lmao. It just felt soooooo awkward to me, yknow? I don't get why in the world I can't accept the fact that someone is doing something out of pure like for me. Not that I thought it was creepy or done with bad intentions but...ugh. Why do I do this shit? It's like "whoa..now you're getting too far with me." Since that night, I haven't spoken to Larry til recently. I asked him out for drinks. He accepted and we're planning on it soon.

I'll let you know how that goes.

Now Abe. Abe is a guy I'm really, really attracted to..but...lets face, it's never going to happen. We hang out off season. In the winter. :shrugs: We haven't done anything but drink wine, go for dinner, and play cards. His conversation is amazing, and so is his face. But I think the both of us know..if anything were to go any further..we'd have a lot of explaining and plotting to do -- for various reasons between our families. LOL. And another thing, he is too much like my father. I know they say a girl treks to find a man like her father. BOO! LOL In my case, it's not a good thing. The amount of obsession they share. POW! I can't. I can't deal with a man that obsessed with something if it ain't me. !HONESTY! lol. I guess all Abe & I really do is stare at each other. Oh wells.

So there are my open options...some not so open, some not quite options but that's all I got. LMAO. *tear

I hope I don't sound too crazy being the amount of things I most likely, over-think.

What do you think?

It's All Just A Bunch Of Matter..

2010-01-05T22:20:00.003-05:00

Look who is still around.....ME! LOL

Happy New Year, everyone! I'm stupid excited that 2009 is ------------> GONE! And 2010 has arrived to take it's place. Enough of the ugliness that 2009 gave us. Aren't YOU ready for a fresh start to things?

I AM!

Of course however, there is still the same old bullshit lingering around like ALWAYS. Year after year, there are always those few people who stay the same route and talk the same shit. Whatever though, right? Keep it moving -->

I did come here to vent about some issues and to also, discuss NEW things in my life. So sit back, relax, and fixate on me for a few minutes. ;)

So where do I start? I haven't done a me post in a good while. Hm...I guess I'll start off with the whole ex-factor. No, I am not speaking about the show. What is it about some people who break up with a girlfriend or boyfriend and still stay pressed about the person they let go?

Is it the inability to let go? Greed? Bitchassness? Or just plain, regret?

Let's discuss.

See, I broke up with an ex a loong time ago. We hooked up a few times after we broke up...we didn't really end on "horrible" terms. No fighting, etc. However, I always felt that he tried so hard afterward to get back with me. I personally, don't believe in the "let's give it another go" plan..an ex is an ex for a reason. I don't care if you were high on drugs, drunk, won a lot of money, or were just "joking" when you ditched the person. A joke is always the truth and altered states diminish the censors in your brain. So whether we like it or not, you were always going to break up with them. LOL.

With that, we never got back with each other..on my part. What I don't understand though, is why people even bother? ALL the people I know who've gotten back together after a break-up, all end up breaking up again anyways...in a shorter time period than they lasted the first go-round. So...why waste your time?

I have three friends who have just been dumped. And the person who dumped them, keeps wanting to hang out or wants to "talk about it".

Now..wait wait wait wait... "talk about it"? What the fuck? Really, though? You should've been talked about the situation waaaaaaaaay before you wanted to break it off.

Two of these people are guys, and of course, their ex-girlfriends are the ones wanting to talk and hang out. If it were me, I'd suspect the tramps just wanted to cut the ties so they could go around and do whatever they wanted, while keeping these poor guys on a short leash in their pockets of tricks and treats.

Same goes for the girl, who's the third person..except she's getting a lot of male attention on her facebook since she's newly single. I'd bet the ex-boyfriend isn't too pleased about that.

:rollseyes:

This is why I cannot be bothered lmao. Relations are so stupid right now. I don't have time to play these games of beat around the bush and "everyone wants me and you don't have me" Girl, bye. I cannot.

Most guys my age are worried about drinking, partying, and doing whatever else stupid shit they do. They can keep that. They really can.

I give as much advice as I can to my friends but unfortunately, they're all lovedrunk with "what if's" and "maybe's". Shit, what happened to guarantees? Or at least a warranty. Cause if anyone of them gets back with these notably unreliable people...then I hope they can get the time reimbursed to their lives. I don't see it lasting. Sorry.

As for me....the smart single one, I enjoy just talking to people and hanging out. That's guaranteed fun and there isn't pressure. Not saying I sleep with these people...trust me, I don't. Save that for somebody who's actually worth the time and doesn't give me all the aforementioned nonsense of boys my age. If they do, then we may have a deal. 'Til then, we go on fun outings and just chill out.

I just really feel like "love" is thrown around so fluidly nowadays and people just step on others so quickly. Our attention spans are extremely low, so if someone doesn't call us back right away or text us right after we send something... "something is up". Get over yourselves.

Love doesn't work that way and it is hard to find someone who understands that.
I mean, I've been told "I Love You" by so many guys that I wasn't even with and it was based on all the wrong things. "Cause I'm nice and pretty" What? Really? Cause I have good friendship qualities, you love me and think we should be together?

.........................

There's no hope if I'm completely exhausted by guys at 21 years old.

til next time.. <3
x0x0

My friend needs your help...

2009-12-17T00:12:00.003-05:00

http://www.petitionspot.com/petitions/SAVEMOE

He's been one of my best friends for over 6 years now and now he's been taken out of Rutgers University and put in jail. They want to deport him to Egypt because his parents never filed for his papers. He found out last year that his papers aren't legal and his parents had since he was 6 months old (when he came to this country) to get him registered. They failed to and now he is suffering for their mistakes.

He doesn't read or write arabic and can only understand a small amount of it. He needs all the help he can get. We want him to stay not only because we love him but because he'll be forced into the military then put on the streets if he is sent back to Egypt. He has no family there and he'd be lost.

Please..if you could..sign this petition for me and my friends. We're all raising money for lawyers to back him. Lawyers that his family claims they can't get. And if you can, repost this to your site.

Thanks for reading this.

Please help him!

Why Did I Get Married Too? Trailer

2009-11-04T20:48:00.000-05:00

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! @ Janet!!!!!!!!!!

"This Is It" A Musical Experience You Don't Want To Miss..

2009-10-28T02:48:00.006-04:00

..and I mean that. Wholeheartedly.

I've been a fan of Michael Jackson since I came out of the womb, pretty much. With that said, it was ALWAYS a given that I would go and see this movie. When tickets went on sale, I shot to the ticket website and bought two tickets for my mother and I for the midnight showing. I was extremely excited.

I honestly did not know what to expect for this film. Would I see a full concert? Would I see strictly interviews with cast, crew, etc? Would I get an in depth look at Michael's creative process? Would I see a man I have never seen before?

There was immense speculation surrounding this film and even before the announcement of the film, speculation was high surrounding his health and his ability. For awhile after his death, it was almost like people tried to give his passing a label, to put a reason out there for what had happened. Whatever label or reasoning people throw out there, it will never take away from the talent this man possessed and the perfect condition he was in to see his imagination come into fruition.

"This Is It" proves all the skeptics wrong. Michael is strong. Michael is motivated. Michael is inspired. Michael IS, in this movie. Even posthumous, Michael raised the bar even higher.

In this film you see Michael in a way, even I as a life long fan, have never seen him. He's in an element of creative overload. His ideas and thoughts just pour out onto the stage and into the crew as you watch him work towards his vision of this magical and awe-inspiring journey that was to be his stage show. When his musicians weren't sure of something, Michael immediately stopped their thought processes and almost molded the idea of a melody with his hands, right then and there. He had a way of working and enabling people to understand his creative ideas that I wished he used in his life in the light. He was seen as such a misunderstood individual and this film shatters that completely.

This movie makes you understand why Michael was the way he was and why his life perplexed so many. Michael never conformed to the "norm" and though the media and the on-lookers turned away, it was the reason his craft was so untouchable and praised. Anyone of us, spoiled and soured by the spread of negativity in today's world, could never reach a level of a Michael Jackson. His naivety was his prized possession that allowed him to be the expressive and sensitive being that he was.

Michael is Michael in this movie. The Michael that most fans always knew existed, but rarely ever witnessed. I imagine that Michael's closest and most trusted have seen him in his true element like in this film. He jokes with the crew, laughs, and encourages the people around him all the while being completly dedicated to his craft and perfecting his show. His balance of fun and work is so beyond what I personally, have ever seen from anyone. It's truly that of someone with the ability to see things like a child and a perfectionist would. He makes the room focused yet at ease. His encouragement of the people surrounding him is professional yet extremely personal and heartfelt. He's strict yet stands with open arms. I work ethic I myself, never knew existed.

The reaction in the theater was all-embracing. The opening of the movie is quite serious and when it starts, you realize that this is about someone who is no longer with us. The saddness sets in and you feel mournful though the subject matter is that of joy and appreciation. However, when the first number starts your heart fills up and you're brought back to that place of personal experience and fun all at once when Michael starts singing. You can't help but smile at such happiness and talent that Michael embodies. I smiled throughout every number, almost as if I was there. You can't help but sing-a-long and enjoy yourself when he's performing. And when he speaks the theater is silent and concentrated on him. It's atmosphere that makes you feel like we have no idea. The thoughts and the creations Michael speaks about and expresses are like none anyone else could ever conjure up. His genius is alive and living in this film.

The footage is raw and there are starts and stops, re-do's to perfect timing, lighting, etc. You see Michael before some numbers discussing his vision and expressing the feeling of specific songs to try and get the people around him to understand exactly what he wants the audience to experience. You see Michael in rehearsals with his musicians developing sounds, melodies, and creating a world around his songs. Every song has an ocean deep experience and Michael literally, drowns you in each and every layer. Michael puts more talent, genius, effort, dedication and work into this one show than today's artists put into their whole lives.

The This Is It experience is something a lover of life would truly appreciate.

Sitting in that theater this morning, I felt so many emotions all at once. It was a whirlwind, a huge and magical whirlwind. I was sad. I was anxious. I was amazed. I was awed. I was intrigued. I was happy. I was surprised. I was mesmerized.

Then, it ends with a single shot of the King in a stance that I will never forget. And you realize, we lost the best there will ever be.

Go see the movie, you won't regret it.

R.I.P. Michael

NECKLACE GIVEAWAY!!!!

2009-10-26T18:18:00.003-04:00

Follow @GetCupCakin on Twitter, re-tweet the announcement, and e-mail CakinHustle@yahoo.com or fill out the contact form at CAKIN' to Enter!!!!

Ends November 6th!!!

GOOD LUCK EVERYONE!!!

$7000 Later..

2009-10-18T04:02:00.003-04:00

I had a whole other post planned and in the works..however, I've been really busy lately due to something that came up. That other post, will have to wait.

Last weekend, Sunday morning around 2AM my friend and I left this bar we were at to go visit another friend of mine up in Morristown, New Jersey. Morristown was about an hour away from where we were and we had my blackberry ready with directions.

So, I get on Route 24 West towards Morristown and we're fine, just cruising. We see an accident with a car flipped on it's side, "eek" we thought. Kept on, singing. Then we notice, there are NO lights along the highway anymore. What a dumbass thing to do...not put lights on a damn highway. However, there was someone along side of my car and behind me, so I didn't want to put my highbeams on -- incase one of the other cars passed me. The one alongside of us, passed infront a couple of times and then ended up alongside of us permanently.

Now, I'm going about 55 - 60 mph. The speed limit is 55 and of course, the asshole behind me is like, in my damn backseat..but do I care? NO. It's only HIS problem if he rear ends me, cause that insurance company of his will write me a pleasant check.

Anywho, the car alongside of me is maybe 100 ft ahead and all of a sudden it swerves and we're like "WTF" and then PA DOW!

THIS stupid ass decided to jump into traffic (sometime before we came across him), get hit and die in between two lanes.

I was driving in the left lane and this highway had three lanes. This deer was taking up the two left lanes and by the time he showed up in my headlights, it was too late and my beautiful, poor love bug just PLOWED over the prince of the forest.

My friend was in the car, screaming like I had ran over a human. I was like ZOMG!!!!!! Got real calm, slowed the car down and pulled over to the left shoulder. Apparently, asshole behind me hit what was left of the deer after I plowed over his ass..but, he kept it moving and didn't stop. Me on the other hand, my car was smoking, the oil light came on, and the off-roading light came on LOL.

It was like the rollercoaster ride from Hell. My car literally flew once I hit that stupid ass deer.
I mean..it was the biggest deer I ever did see. Like this type of size:

Like what the hell? You figure a deer this big is supposed to be smart and wise and all that jazz..but no. His ego told him to jump into the road and just trash my car and my night. SMH!

So all this week, my father has been going back and forth with the insurance company. I have collision AND comprehesive..so all I have to pay is my low rate deductable. However, these stupid ass people take me for a FOOL!

My car is new. There's nothing wrong with it, I drive it back and forth to school, work, and drove it to Long Island 4 times. It only has 24,000 miles and they want to put USED parts in it.
NO MA'AM!

Sorry, but I was NOT born yesterday..I pay good money, every month for that car. It's never had an issue...and the cheap ass insurance company is NOT going to make some for me. I'll be damned if they put 2004 parts in an '07.

Here's the list of known damage from their first look:
The AC unit fell out/cracked and all the lines connecting it are broke
The radiator is broken
The oil pan -- ce la vie
and my bumper...that deer head cracked it clear in HALF.

According to the insurance adjuster and auto shop supplied by Volkswagen, there is a lot more damage underneath those things -- giving me a grand total of over $7000 worth of damage.

If they don't fix it right, then...it may be a difficult emotional move for me, but they might as well total my car and write me a damn check for $16-17,000 so I can go and buy me a new one. I do not have time for the run around with these lame people. Atleast, with a check I can just get me another car and keep my life moving.

However, let us all pray that things go right and these lame ass people DO THE RIGHT THING and just fix my baby the correct way she deserves.

<3 love bug

The Velvet Rope

2009-09-27T03:53:00.005-04:00

Hey guys -- yeah, it's been what? Forever since I have taken the time to type up a new entry. I apologize. My laptop died, my phone has been acting ignorant, and I just haven't been in the mood all together. LOL. However, things are looking up! My uncle is re-building my laptop, I get my Blackberry Tour tomorrow, and after two weeks of what I call TVR therapy I am much happier. lol.

You may be asking yourself, "what the hell is TVR therapy?" Well, good thing you asked cause that is what this post is going to be about. TVR = The Velvet Rope , a CD-- a masterpiece is more suitable, that Janet Jackson released in 1997.

You're all probably like, this chick is crazy over Janet. Though that may be, it's for all the right reasons. Y'know I shared a YouTube video of hers on Facebook and someone commented and said, "I see you're obsessed with Janet Jackson.." and I thought about it and I think it's unfair and illogical to make that sort of judgment. It's more so a connection than an obsession. I hear obsession and think of all the screaming girls across the world who break the law and would hurt a small child to see the Jonas Brothers or someone. That, my friends, I do not do lol.

Sure, I've seen her in concert and have gone to television shows to see her but that's only because I am spoiled and live 20 minutes away from Manhattan and can do that occasionally lol. If you had the access, you'd do it too.

But not to discredit my fandom in anyway, shape, or form..I do have a strong sense of relation to Janet. No, I don't feel like we're kindred souls or that we were friends in a past life -- I just feel her life. Her music is extremely personal to her and what is going on in her life when she is making her albums -- so as a listener, you can easily decipher from one album to the next, how she was feeling and what she was going through.

Even in an industry now, in which every song is about the same thing -- preaching materialism and the craziness of relations, she's still an artist that makes albums. Although, to be completely honest..20Y.O. (2006) wasn't much of anything (besides With U, Enjoy, & Take Care.....) but I can let that one slide (entirely my opinion lol).

Anywho, Janet released The Velvet Rope in 1997 after a great deal of turmoil in her personal life; Dealing with depression and supressed feelings she had through-out her life up until that point, all contributed to this album. It's very much about finding one's self: escapism, accepting what is, experimenting, sexuality, the need we all have as humans to feel needed, to feel special, to feel like we mean something to someone. The album is cohesive and deeply introspective for her and for the listener.

I remember first listening to it, at 8 or 9 years old being in complete awe and thinking, "Wow.." Now of course, at that age I didn't quite understand all the content but I had a sense of what was going on. Growing up, I myself was a quiet child and internalized a great deal and the constant talk of this "need to feel special" on the album really pulled me in, I related. I started listening to the album on a daily basis -- a couple songs here and there, or one song a day; depending on my mood and what I needed, the tracks varied.

When I got into high school though, I found myself listening to the entire album on repeat, for days. It was a healing for me -- as looney as that sounds -- relaxing and clearing my head to this album put me into a better space after a couple of days.

Now, it's almost a tradition or a "quirk" about myself that is just stuck in me. I go through a period of time where I just have to listen to this album, and that's it. It really does help. The connection is so strong with this work and it still to this day amazes me how much the music and the words, the message...gets through. I mean the delivery on this CD is so strong and so direct -- you cannot not feel it. This CD could have been released today, and still have the same level of resonance within people as it did, the day it dropped in October '97.

There's a level of vulnerability on this album that is breathtaking to me. To be so set in your ways and to open yourself up and expose what you're going through and take your listeners with you as you fix yourself..? That's courage. And it's inspiring. To know, that even she is in this journey with the rest of us. Not only did the music touch me, but Janet did as well. If someone didn't have respect for her after Control or Rhythm Nation or the janet. album...they definitely were able to see one of the best sides of Jan through this album. I say that with the utmost sincerity in that, no, I don't feel like it takes pain or troubled times to make a masterpiece, but it does take a TRUE artist to manifest something that could have easily ruined her, and turn it into self conducted therapy not only for herself but for the people with open ears; whoever will listen. This album is an open invitation to anyone who needs to know that the complexities of life effect everyone.

I find so much strength when the album is over and it's just overwhelmingly uplifting.

So, two weeks ago..I found myself feeling inadequate; different issues resurfaced, questions arose, I felt alone, and I just popped in the CD and the first night I laid in bed and just thought about every lyric. I fell asleep before the album finished, but I did the same thing the next night and the night after. It kind of put me in a better mood to wake up the next day with...and by the time I was ready to lay in bed the next day--I needed the CD again. After the some time...it clicks all over again.

And no I'm not crazy -- it never really is the same thing that pops up and has me running for the CD -- it could be anything that is challenging me in life. I find that inner strength through this CD -- it's true. It's my shrink, so to speak. Instead of the $300 a week for a couch and a notepad..I spent $10 for a CD that I've listened to for the past 12 years.

So next time, my connection is questioned...I'll just send a link to this post.

;)

Thank you, Janet.

20 years ago

2009-09-23T18:05:00.000-04:00

I turned 1 (1989) and my aunt stuffed my entire face with cake. See. LOL

AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!

2009-09-09T13:07:00.004-04:00

She is BACK! My favorite person in the world is BACK! Janet has spoken! She expresses her feelings about her late brother, Michael, she's NEWLY (and finally - no offense JD) single, and her future plans. But mostly Michael.

The article is elegant and heartfelt. She's really back to the great old Janet I always loved.

It's a good read!

Jewelry Giveaway

2009-08-22T12:52:00.001-04:00

Mona over at MSparklessss is giving away two pieces in celebration of reaching 200 followers! She has made a gorgeous necklace and bracelet for two lucky winners.

Head over now and check her out!!

MSparklessssss

Ends Friday August 28th at Midnight EST

Good Luck!!!

OKAY!

2009-08-07T20:50:00.000-04:00

Thank you. Lmfao.
Shannon

Test

2009-08-07T12:10:00.001-04:00

Email test
Shannon

My Beyonce Experience

2009-07-25T19:20:00.002-04:00

My favorite part!

<3

It was hands down, the best show I've ever seen.

Pictures coming as well!

AHHHHHH

2009-07-20T18:38:00.000-04:00

My parents handed me two tickets to see Beyonce on Friday for my 21st!

:dies

Back To Your Regularly Scheduled Program..

2009-07-09T20:11:00.004-04:00

Okay so back to the regular posting.

As you can tell, the death of Michael Jackson hit me hard and knocked everything I've been wanting to post, to the ground. So, I'm going to attempt to roll everything that has been going on into this post.

Let's see..what's been up? A great deal of family time and beach time. Had my cousins HS graduation party the 27th, that was nice. We all did the usual, talk and eat everything lol. That following Monday, my other cousin Jenn had her birthday and all the aunts and female cousins went over and hung out for the afternoon. It was fun. My cousin April had little Victoria there -- she's such a doll. Love her. She's so big already! I mean, for 5 months she's small but she was a premie so compared to the 4lbs she was, she so big now. lol.

As for the 4th of July, we were out in Long Island from the 2nd to the 5th. I FINALLY got a tan. Thank you Jesus. I was a bit ghostly for a good while there but now I'm at my regular olive/chestnut color. See when I tan during the summer, it doesn't completely fade til about March the following year. I, oddly, keep my color for a long period of time. But this year it was more noticeable because the weather has been so schizophrenic, cold, raining, hot, cold, pouring for 26 days out of the month of June (WTF!)..and I'm used to getting a tan by May. Didn't happen this year. So I been so mad. LOL.

Other than spending three days on the beach and seeing a great fireworks show in Montauk, my 4th was great. OH AND BTW, if anyone is ever out in Long Island in the far east end of the Hamptons, I recommend a visit to Dave's Bar & Grill. AMAZING food. omg. I'm not a big eater of seafood but I had their surf & turf special on Sunday. It was orgasmic. It was lobster out of the shell that was poached in BUTTER with a 8oz sirloin in peppercorn sauce with creamed spinach and crisy fries. I could've DIED. SO GOOD. Expensive, but sooooooooo worth it. It think the plate itself was $38 but for that succulent lobster..I'd pay $50. I've only eaten lobster twice before and that was both in Cozumel, Mexico because they too had taken the lobster out of the shell and it was covered in butter ( and the lobster down there is sweeter, no claws, different kind). So coming from me, ITS AMAZING. LOL. I cringe at the thought of cracking open the shell and pulling out all the meat and everything and anything else that may be in there. It just makes me lose my appetite so if you too hate all that, visit Dave's. LOL.

Annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd, my BIRTHDAY is coming upppp! Yes, yes...14 more days (JULY 22nd) til' I am finally 21. I know everyone is like, "oh 21 is overrated.." I know it is. But I'm happy that I will finally have the option to go out whenever I feel like it. Because I usually don't go out unless I know someone at the places I go to..and that's always a pain in the ass. Forget the whole drinking thing..I drink already..to everyone, including family, 18,19, and 20 is no different than 21. LOL. I will just be so relieved that I won't have to schedule these 007 missions to get into places.

Ugh - I have to go. That's it, for now.

<3

MJ Memorial: Farewell Sleeping Prince

2009-07-07T20:44:00.004-04:00

It was the perfect way to show such a man, such love and respect with class and dignity. Love & Respect he should've gotten ALL the time here on Earth. May God bless him and his children. It finally hit me when Michael's gorgeous 11 year-old daughter Paris, spoke those simple, yet strong words about her Daddy and how much she loved him -- that it finally hit me that he is really, really gone. This is real and we all need to realize how much of a GIFT Michael was to us. To be able to live to see him in action and embrace his craft, and watch him shine before our eyes as he made HIStory.

We were truly the lucky ones.

Thank you, Michael..
For everything.
Rest In Peace

Beyonce @ Essence Festival

2009-07-06T12:54:00.001-04:00

<3 <3 <3

In Loving Memory..

2009-06-29T16:46:00.008-04:00

For Michael fans wanting to show support, I've created (so far) THREE t-shirt designs. Printing has not yet been decided, I will post updates on that as soon as I come to a decision.

Two more are in the works.

Enjoy.

stay tuned..

ADDITIONAL:

ORDER YOURS NOW!
SIZES S, M, L, XL. XXL
Mens: Regular Tees
Ladies: Fitted Longer Length V-Necks
Kids: Regular Tees
$25 + shipping

Also:
I don't offer printing on other items such as totes, hats, etc. If you prefer to purchase JUST the graphic for your own personal printing you can for:
$15.75

Note: $5 from each purchase will go to Michael Jackson's "Heal The World" Foundation, in his honor.

Pay through PAYPAL
E-Mail Orders To: cakinhustle@yahoo.com
Please leave your name, your size in mens, ladies, or kids, and a shipping address. Once order is received a PayPal invoice will be e-mailed to you.

Thank you and long live the King of Pop!

Janet Speaks

2009-06-29T00:12:00.002-04:00

I know this was incredibly hard for her to do - Janet is an extremely private person & I just commend her on even taking the responsibility and accepting the task of coming out on that stage and giving us a piece of her heart at this tragic time. My love & prayers go out to you, Janet and the entire Jackson family. As she said, Michael lives on forever in our hearts.

Beyonce's MJ Tribute in PA

2009-06-28T01:20:00.001-04:00

It Can't Be True...

2009-06-27T02:22:00.004-04:00

I was online just now..and got this pop up...

I refuse to believe this is all real. I never ever imagined that, at 21..I'd hear about the death of Michael Jackson. I thought my future children would be able to see him...maybe even performing or releasing new music. Now..it's just unfathomable that it won't happen. He's gone..forever.

You know..I've been crying a little here and there. It was weird because I was actually vacuuming that afternoon (eastcoast time) and I had to stop. I had really, really bad heartburn and decided to sit down and have a glass of water before continuing. Well, I never finished vacuuming until today. I went out of my way to go in my car and get my sidekick I had left in there the night before. When I got it, I checked Twitter to see what was going on with my followers. I kept seeing "Police Called To MJ's House" "Ambulance Rushed To Michael Jackson's Home". I ran into the house and hit the computer. I followed minute by minute;l I watched them pull out of his driveway and all the comotion around UCLA. Then I saw TMZ -- Michael Jackson Dead. I slouched and hit the back of my chair and had to breathe. "No, this is such a lie. Michael cannot be dead. Not Michael and TMZ is definitely not the place to hear it!" So, I watched everyone type in how only TMZ is stating this, not CNN, etc.

Slowly, but surely, the rest of the media outlets followed. Then I saw the LA Times website. Pop Superstar Michael Jackson Dead at 50. Then CNN followed awhile later. I took a moment...posted my thoughts and then decided to take a shower. There, I cried and cried and cried. I just couldn't take it. Then on the way to my aunts house today, I heard all the tributes on the radio. One of the stations started playing "Man In The Mirror" and I broke down. It just hit me like a brick. I was so engulfed with sadness. This man was my childhood. From the age of 3 to now, it's always been Michael Jackson. Just this past Tuesday, my mother and I were listening to the Thriller album on the home from Target...singing loud in the car, having the times of our lives. We listened to him on the way home from Long Island Sunday night. We listened to "Off The Wall", "Invincible", and "Dangerous". It just doesn't feel right or real. I honestly, don't know a world without Michael.

I know that sounds crazy coming from someone who has never met him or ever seen him in person (even though I almost did in 2001 at Virgin Records, too many people = too much for a 13 year old me) but Michael really shaped my early years and gave me so many memories to his music that I will never forget, ever. Memories with family -- I remember my brother being obsessed with trying to mimic Michael's moves, sliding on our old kitchen floor with our socks trying to spin and do the moonwalk, sliding in the hallways, watching the weekend Michael marathons on MTV with my brother, hearing stories from my father about Michael's concerts. So, so, so much this man has given me and my family.

It's just hard to grasp the fact that the world is forever missing it's King.

I'm privileged to own his entire discography...I'll never forget Him. And I can promise, my children will know Him, his music, and his message.

R.I.P. Michael <3

Now excuse me, while I continue to attempt to deal with this.

:turns on iPod:

A Piece of My Life Is Gone Today...Michael Jackson.

2009-06-25T19:01:00.004-04:00

Today is a horrible, horrible day...

All my prayers and love go out to the Jackson family.

I honestly, feel like I lost my father, a brother, or an uncle. I can't even express the amount of pain I feel in my heart right now. He is said to have suffered cardiac arrest and is now passed on at the age of 50.

I can't really grasp this...at all. Michael has always been a figure that I've looked at as one of those people who will "live forever" almost. Like he was more than just a singer to so many, including myself.

However, his absense in the industry since 2001, has almost prepared me for something like this. I have grown accustomed to not hearing new music for the past 8 years that going back in my iPod and taking out those albums is almost how I have been going back to Michael. How I feel his life. And now, even though he has passed -- it doesn't feel like he's gone. I know he's gone, but as I turn on his music...it's like he's right here. And I am soo soo grateful for his body of work...that it can have that affect on me even after his life has transpired.

Almost every memory I can remember of him is going through my mind right now. MTV Michael Jackson weekends, all the videos, the movies, the video game!, oprah interview...everything. God..it's just entirely too sad.

Michael, you'll live forever through your music and the profound effect you've had on us all.

You Are Not Alone - Michael Jackson

R.I.P.
MICHAEL JOSEPH JACKSON
"THE KING OF POP"
1958-2009

You're finally free.

...Always in my heart <3

Free Pinkberry on FRIDAY!

2009-06-23T15:56:00.000-04:00

Pinkberry is introducing two new flavors, Coconut and Passionfruit, this week. On Friday, June 26, between 5-9 p.m., you can get a free small Coconut, Passionfruit, or blend the two for a tropical swirl. Enjoy!!

Wooooooooo! I know where I'll be!

I Seen Beyonce At Burger King

2009-06-16T00:33:00.002-04:00

LMFAO!

The Sims 3: The Same Game with More Space to Roam

2009-06-11T17:27:00.000-04:00

I was ecstatic when I found out that Electronic Arts was releasing a new Sims game. I had played the first two, along with the majority of their expansion packs and like most, became freakishly addicted to those little Sims. There's is just something about being able to create your own person and run their lives and the lives of the people that they bring into the world. However, with the first two games we were restricted to one house. The first Sims game we were restricted to one house and one town with just people. The second Sims game we were able to edit our town and create places for our Sims to hangout and meet new people. New jobs were created and new activities for our Sims to enjoy. With this new Sims the world is a much bigger and more exciting place -- for YOU to control.

I popped in the CD the day the game came out. Installed it, (rather quickly I might add, for a Sims game) and up popped a screen. With this new Sims before starting the game you get to download the EA Download manager. This is an additional program that makes it SUPER EASY for you to download objects from the The Sims 3 website for your game and it automatically installs the objects for you! I was rather pleased with this addition. I have always found it difficult to download any extra objects for my past games.

Once you start the game you get to choose your town. This game comes with two towns, Riverview and Sunset Valley. I chose Riverview. Once you choose you get the map of the town. I was lost from here on for a good...45 minutes. I had no clue what to do. ALL the buttons are different, moving the screen is different....you have to click the right mouse button and drag the cursor to move the screen. Eventually, I got to "Create Sims" and made my own family of two.

The Create process is different, there are 1, a great deal of more options. You can make your characters super skinny or super fat and you can toggle their muscle mass as well. Also, there's changing their skin tone, hair, hair color, highlights, tips, roots, eye brow shapes, colors, lip sizes, different shades of make ups, eye colors, etc. The clothes are different - with each outfit you can also change their make up and hair styles. So if I want the female in my household to have a new hair do when she is in formal get up, I can do so.

After you choose the basics, you get to choose their traits. There are a range of traits to choose from, there's Ambitious, Angler, Bookworm, Genius, Evil, Excitable, Lazy, Loner, Vegetarian, Natural Cook, Virtuoso, Hates Outdoors, Klepto, etc. Each trait comes with special qualities. A Sim with the Natural Cook trait will learn and gain cooking skills faster then other Sims. One who is an Angler will catch more fish and bigger fish than other Sims, and so on. For adults you choose 5 traits. If you create younger Sims, teens get three traits for you to pick and children and toddlers get either one or two. As they grow, depending on their growth process and environment, they either automatically develop traits or you can choose new ones on their birthdays. You also choose their lifelong goal & their favorites. Their favorites are three things, food, music, and color. There are about 30 different foods to choose from, about 6 music genres, and probably 40 colors that you can claim as their favorite. Each favorite gives them mood points in Live mode. If you're Sim loves Sushi and someone makes it for them, their mood goes up.

Now when you're ready to move your Sim family into a new home, you get two options when you choose their house. You can get it the way it is, or fully furnished --- but it will cost you extra. Once you're moved in, the family you're playing with is your active household. You'll be playing with that family only, unless you click the options and go to "Edit Town".

Once your Sims are moved in they can do whatever they please. If you want to go grocery shopping, all you have to do is zoom away from your house and click the magnifying glass to see the town and click on the grocery store. If your Sim has a car or a bike, they'll take that -- or they'll call a taxi. You can zoom in and watch them walk into the store, but most places in the town, you can't go into -- only your Sim can. Once they come out of the building you can walk around town and talk to other Sims that are walking around town as well. There is an art museum, gym, neighborhood pool, hospital, military base, stadium, a couple of parks, school, city hall, a bistro, a diner, and a theater. All places offer classes for different things. For example, the bistro offers cooking classes, city hall offers charisma classes, etc. If you have a lot of money, your Sims can also become partners with different places. For instance, the business center building offers partnership in which your Sim gets a percentage of their profit. If you have even more money, your Sim can buy the whole building and collect all profit, as well as fire other Sims who work there. My Sim purchased the theater for 18,000 simoleons and collects 6,000 simoleons every week. It's pretty cool.

For work, there are jobs at the bistro, diner, and book store part-time. Other places offer careers. My Sim is in the music career at level 8 right now. She's a lead guitarist at the theater and performs shows there three days a week.

Your Sims job performance depends on their mood, relationship with co-workers, and of course their skill level. As you go up in your career, different things matter. For instance, with my Sim who works at the theater in the music career at level 8, she now has to also perform at other venues to up her performance levels to get a promotion. Also, while your Sims are working, you can choose what they do while they're there. They can "Business As Usual", "Work Hard", "Slack Off", "Meet Co-Workers", "Chat With Co-Workers" etc...other things are added your Sims career progresses.

Opportunity comes a-knocking in this game as well. Depending on your Sims skills and friends, different opportunities from around town are presented. For instance, your boss may be home cooking a meal and is missing an ingredient. You'll get a call on your cell phone and be asked if you'd like to accept the opportunity to pick up what they need and deliver it to them for an increase in work relationship or for a cash prize. There are a great deal of opportunities depending on your Sims lives and careers.

However, what is missing in this Sims are almost all the past expansion packs. There aren't any pets, except for the classic goldfish, teens cannot go to college, there aren't any vacations, no seasonal changes, no apartment life, etc. Clearly, EA is leaving room to create more expansions for this game...as usual. I found myself playing this game and wishing there were expansions already. I was so used to the endless extras that came with those packs. Though missing the extras from before, it doesn't make the game any less addicting.

I'm having a blast playing this game!

Folk Craft Giveaway

2009-06-11T16:58:00.002-04:00

This prize is a cute lil' garden wristlet. It is one-of-a-kind and handmade by me! It measures approximately 7.25" x 4", and is printed with silhouettes of garden vegetables, (from a stencil that I created.) The outter fabric is white with very subtle, light green pinstriping. It is fully lined with an awesome sage green fabric, the same that was used for the wrist strap. Zipper opening, and lightly padded with eco-friendly bamboo batting! Yay!

So go on over to Folk Craft and enter!!!

Sims 3 Review Tonight

2009-06-08T16:22:00.003-04:00

I'll be posting my review of the Sims 3 game tonight for all who haven't gotten the game yet and would like to know what to expect.

For now, I'll leave you with my number rating:

3.5 out of 5 stars.

My favorite game is finally here!

2009-06-02T15:41:00.002-04:00

The Sims 3 comes out today!!!!!!

-goes to buy it-

Don't judge me...LOL

Equality

2009-05-31T00:44:00.001-04:00

It's Been A Long Time...

2009-05-28T22:45:00.002-04:00

...I shouldn't'a left you...without dope news to read.

LOL.

Hey hey hey. So it's been awhile since I typed out my feelings and goings on. But the wait is over. Here I is.

So basically I have been working on CAKIN' lately. 24/7. My first weekend out in Montauk, I sold way over 20 necklaces to friends & others and almost the whole rack of 12 at 668 The Gig Shack! And that was only a WEEKEND! They're now open ALL week long so I replenished the rack there with 16 cakes -- 2 were sold as I was re-stocking so they're were 14 when I was last there Sunday afternoon. Also, I was offered to sell them in another store out there - it's called kelly b. it's a new boutique. Very fashionable. The clothes and accessories are adorable and the prices aren't bad AT ALL! Esp. for out there - clothes are ridiculously expensive...I mean like $180 for a shirt, expensive. This place is completely reasonable. A dress for $75. NOT BAD!

I believe the woman who runs the store is also the owner of another store on the same strip..which I may also be able to show case jewelry in. So, I'm super excited about that. Out there, the prices for the necklaces will either be $12 or $15 I'm not sure yet. I have to calculate all of my expenses and so forth.

The weekend was nice though. I spent it on my fathers boat..it wasn't beach weather but it was nice. The beach day was Monday ----- but I had to leave early. Reasoning left out. :sigh
Anyways -- I can't wait to go back. Hopefully the next time will be a complete beach weekend so my entire body can get it's life back LOL. My arms, chest, and face got some color -- one arm in particular, got sun burn -- driver's tan. LOL.

Today, I got a callback from URBAN OUTFITTERS! Finally! I go up to their Montclair store tomorrow morning to fill out paperwork and next Wednesday I start in the store space and help set up the store (it's a brand new store in the local mall so it's super fresh). We have to put up fixtures, tables, etc. Basically the skeleton of the store. I'm excited though. Yippee!

& an ALERT!
I'm dying my hair again tomorrow. LMAO.
I'm lightening it -- hopefully it's a huuuuge drastic change -- it's what I'm aiming for. I'm getting chunky warm sand highlights through my entire head. Chunky enough so I have the least amount of this dark dark mahogany. We shall see how THAT turns out...LOL!

HERE'S LADY GAGA's AMAZING NEW VIDEO FOR PAPARAZZI!

Find more videos like this on LOVEBSCOTT.COM

My Substitute For Love........

2009-05-26T21:27:00.001-04:00

FINALLY - EGO!

2009-05-21T14:27:00.001-04:00

...Boy you a sight to see, kinda somethin' like me!

I Need Some of These Feelings..

2009-05-20T22:25:00.000-04:00

...in my life like, now.

Here's a peek @ The Shack

2009-05-18T14:14:00.000-04:00

Giveaway #3

2009-05-14T22:10:00.002-04:00

Did I tell you guys that there's a brand new DOUBLE giveaway going on at CAKIN' right now?

Yes! TWO necklaces!

Go enter now!!!

<3

Christina's Giveaway!

2009-05-12T14:16:00.003-04:00

Christina over @ Christina's Favorite Things is having a giveaway of a bunch of amazing thing from Bath & Body Works. Enter for your chance to win!!!

Withdrawals Are Overrrrr

2009-05-09T11:38:00.000-04:00

My sidekick is back on - T-Mobile had to be dealt with and they finally got their heads right last night. My fingers are now occupied. THANK YA LORD!

Phone Bill Blues

2009-05-06T13:56:00.003-04:00

My phone is STIL turned off and just paid over-half of my bill (it was only $91 - I let it get over 2 months LOL) . I think T-Mobile has had enough of me. LMAO. I don't know what it is, but I ALWAYS forget to pay my damn bill. It comes in the mail and I look at it then I just rip the bottom off to see how much it is and leave it on my desk and throw the rest out. Though I see it almost everyday, I never go "Oh, I should head over to T-Mobile and pay that.." LOL

You'd think I would..my bill is only $20 a month to begin with..unless I buy a couple ringtones (which I'm obsessed with..) then it's probably ten or $15 dollars more LOL. But still..I don't get it.

Anywho, they shut my sidekick off yesterday and I didn't realize til this morning because it was off yesterday morning but I got TWO texts last night..so that really didn't make much sense..but whatever. LOL. I got a text this morning too -- ?! But it's off, I can't send any messeges so yeah.

After dropping my aunt off at the airport this morning I went and paid $80 on the $91 I owed - I used all my cash and I don't own a credit card or debit (I don't believe in plastic) so I figured..I'd pay the last $11 next month .lmao. Not thinking that's what got me in the postion to begin with but that's not the point. The point is that it's been 3 hours and my phone isn't on and I paid more than half. They're SUPPOSED to reinstate service when you pay more than half your bill. AND they have a brandy new sidekick coming out next week...I'm not getting it unless they get their act together lol. ---------I'll probably get it anyways..but you get what I'm saying.

Fuck you T-Mobile. Ruining lives.

I'm kidding.........turn my phone back on please...?

LOL

SICKEST DOPEST EVER!

2009-05-04T17:49:00.001-04:00

omg!!!!!!!!

Absolutely Stunning

2009-05-04T05:29:00.001-04:00

Maxwell - Pretty Wings from Pop Along Kids on Vimeo.

I didn't think I could love the song anymore when I heard the snippet two years ago -- but Maxwell and whomever directed this video, really outdid themselves. This video is pure beauty and simply breathtaking!

Another Weight Lifted!

2009-05-04T01:15:00.005-04:00

What a day! --- what a weekend is more like it!

I didn't do much this weekend - not like usual but I had a grand ol' time.

Thursday, I went to eat with the boys at this restaurant they will soon run/own/tear up the NJ club scene with. Food was great, we drank a pitcher of sangria and chatted, before we went to another place for drinks.

We left dinner at about 10-10:30 and headed on over to this gorgeous new restaurant down the street. The bar and lounge area is insane. All the furniture is 17th century inspired, imported, there's linens from floor to ceiling attached to these large wooden beams, that kind of look medieval and this is all hinted with ice blue lighting. Ugh it was such a scene. I live for aesthetics like that. Also, at around midnight, the ice blue lighting turns this deep magenta, it's crazy lol. We started off with two pitchers of sangria and then the shots came - two of the best shots of after sex I've ever had. You couldn't even taste the liquor it was delicious. However, like 10 minutes later I was so loose..haha. Then they gave us these blue shots that were on the house..I have no idea what they were but...they were damn good! We all had a blast. Met some really nice new people and just enjoyed myself.

Friday -- I decided to stay in and work on some CAKIN' orders. I made extra cakes of course -- but they are all gone already. Sold - packaged and ready to be sent out. I can't keep them long enough! lol. I am going to work on more tonight. I also finally designed new business cards that I love - I printed out close to 100 tonight. I can't wait to put them into the orders that are going out tomorrow! I hope everyone likes them. ;) It's the new header on the CAKIN' so go on over and let me know what you think!

Saturday - what a day. I slept most of the day. I had to. I stayed up til' 7AM to CAKE! lol. I got up around 1 or 2PM I don't really remember. I went to have some Vietnamese with my friend Chris. We were going to go to this mexican restuarant but he said he's never had Vietnamese before so I was like ---car screetching noise--- I am taking to you to Vietnamese instead!!! He loved it! As I knew he would -- everyone should expand their palet I think! Anywho, after that we went back to my house and I took out all the left over liq from the party last weekend and invited my friend Bryan that I went to HS with and of course, DaVon and Ray to wet their throats with us lol. We got trashed. It was nice. LOL! We played some drinking games and took pictures in our drunken states - that are hilarious, I'll put them up later! lol - and then ended the night @ white castle. yuck but yum, especially when you've had too much to drink haha. (hence the photo posted last night! lol)

It was great though...the night was a lot of fun. I haven't seen my bff Von in a while because he's working on this fashion show over at our college that is on Thursday. (I'll be there selling my CAKES! WOO my first table! Yes, this is a big deal LOL!) So it was nice. We all had a good laugh - especially me and Von because prior to our drinking - I totally and completely cut off a "friend". I don't even know if there are words to even describe how far gone this person is but if there are, I honestly, in all my years of vocabulary obsession, do not recall any word that would fit. And you know what? In listening to the ridiculous statements this person was making against me -- I'm glad that is over with. I was in the presence of really good people and in that moment I realized what that person wasn't. And that was a "friend". So, cest la vie! And Von and I cheered with a shot of vodka to "being acne free". OK! LOL. You too can laugh..but we have a sort of...inside joke about that. So, big ups to those who are down for life!

Sunday -- today, I slept again because of that alcohol. Call me Jamie Foxx cause I'm blaming it lol. I woke up, enjoyed the vacancy of my house for awhile and then got myself together. I decided to go to Panera Bread for food. I haven't been there in months and well, I missed it. If you don't know about Panera, well you better ask somebody!!! It's the bomb! And today, reminded me of all that I was missing! I had the most delicious baked potato soup and a chicken chipotle sandwich -- ugh. SO GOOD! (don't mind me and my food in this post...I'm pre-menstrual so I've been hungry 24/7 fr the past three days, unfortunately LMAO!) I mean really, find a Panera by you..and go eat there. Take your mom for Mother's Day, actually. Something. Just go! I know in Southern Jersey they have "Atlantic Bread Company" which is like a bootleg version of Panera...NOT THE SAME! There's Cosi as well....NOT THE SAME! They try...but they FAIL. So yeah...if you see one on your way someplace...stop. Turn around and go inside. It'll make you so happy. LOL

So that was my foodend...I mean weekend. :puts the turkey sandwich down: sigh. Let me go work out before I start on those cupcakes. haha.

ttyl loves

Hahahahahahaha

2009-05-03T02:35:00.000-04:00

DaVon posing with the homeless!

Sleeplessness Part II

2009-05-02T04:48:00.000-04:00

I've decided to continue that last "sleeplessness rant". It is
currently, 4:32 in the morning, I have just finished 200 crunches, some
squats, etc. My insomnia inspires me to work out. LOL. Although I
cheated ALL week --- shhh!

Anywho, back onto the LAST topic I ranted about. HIM. He is, I think,
unreachable. That or in a totally different world/state of mind than I
am.

(((Off Topic: they're playing Robyn's "Do You Know What It Takes" on
Music Choice right now. Lmao. I never thought she was THAT
hot....hm.)))

So yeah..I get this whole "I am too busy and pre-occupied with my own
life to be interested in yours" kind of feeling from HIM. THAT pisses me
off. And its not only in the sense of "attempting to 'get to know him
better'" but even in a "trying to be friends" notion. Honestly, I
couldn't even imagine a way to be remotely "friends" with him. He is
so....I don't the word; untouchable? As if he is on this pedastal, by
himself. All I can do is walk around the base of him and look up because
I have no idea what is at the top.

I would LIKE to know..but trust me. I am not going out of my way for
someone who suddenly acts as if I'm a brick.

Have you ever met someone that you would like to know, be it a guy or
girl, and they just act like its too much to fit you into their lives?
Even to just say "hello" back to you, is like taking a knife to a vein,
in their mind. I don't understand, and I tried to steer clear of using
this word, but I truly don't understand how selfish people can be. I
really, really don't.

My intentions were good. I didn't expect much of anything but to chat
here and there. However, the few times I'd say something it was like "
why are YOU talking to me?"

I don't know why I was talking to you....

All I can say is...
You LOST ONE. - Jay-Z

Beyonce is shutting down Prague!

2009-05-01T20:42:00.001-04:00

Yessss bitch!

Cakin' Sale Special!

2009-04-30T01:27:00.003-04:00

Head on over to CAKIN' to peep the new sale special going on for those who join the Facebook group!

It's a helluvah deal!

http://www.getcupcakin.blogspot.com
http://www.getcupcakin.blogspot.com
http://www.getcupcakin.blogspot.com
http://www.getcupcakin.blogspot.com
http://www.getcupcakin.blogspot.com
http://www.getcupcakin.blogspot.com
http://www.getcupcakin.blogspot.com

The Worst Friends Ever

2009-04-27T04:47:00.002-04:00

Why is it that I can never find true people? Everybody has a damn agenda, everybody is shady, everybody turns selfish. I don't get it.

So the party right, a lot of people were invited -- a great deal came. There was well over 20 people there. However, the people who were solid on coming through, didn't. All because the rule was, bring something to contribute. When they were told, they wanted to all of a sudden act like they aren't sure if they're going to come, that they're "going to see if they can make it" knowing damn well they got nothing else better to be doing but don't want to chip in.

Best believe two people were sent home because they thought they they could come up in the party without bringing anything and could drink off what everyone else bought. Nope. Not happening. I don't like when things go that route. I almost always bring something when I'm invited places unless told I'm good to come through without anything. Plus I wanted to avoid anyone being like, "So and so is drinking my stuff and they didn't even bring anything" nah. There wasn't any room for fighting over some dumb shit like that. You want to party? Then come prepared.

And these people were the ones who wanted to have the party in the first place. Like...what?! All cause we friends, it don't mean you can come up in the place without anything. It wasn't that kind of party. Everyone had to bring something, no one got off. No moochers. And I certainly didn't have enough money to spare to buy anything more than what I had. A bottle of my PAMA and scotch whiskey to shoot. Others brought couple of handles (barcardi, segrams, svedka, etc), bunch of small bottles, two 32 packs of Miller, sangria, and tequila.

Whatever though -- thank you to those that were there. Shit was absolutely nuts - everyone said they had fun; even the folks I didn't know LOL. We ate, partied, played games, and acted dumb crazy til 330 in the morning. I think it was better without my "friends".

Good Times?

2009-04-26T19:43:00.002-04:00

Last night there was a party. Had a lot of friends, drinks, food. I had planned it for a couple reasons, to see some people I haven't in awhile, to have fun, and to get him to experience such an atmosphere with me. I could explain more, but I won't because it won't be worth it. He didn't show.

:shrugs:

Despite the heads up...and all. Oh well.

I have a couple new opportunities now.

91 Degrees!!!!

2009-04-26T19:29:00.003-04:00

Dear Abby,

OMG I AM DYING!

It was 91 degrees today. My bedroom is like an oven, well over 104 degrees because it just hoards heat and I couldn't sleep at all last night. I'm home alone and can't carry the air-conditioner from the basement to the third floor! What should I do?

From,
Melting in my own home

Veggie Straws

2009-04-25T04:57:00.003-04:00

I have to make this post, simply because I'm my Google Analytics and in my Feedjit I am noticing a great deal of visitors find my site because they're searching online for "Veggie Straws" and I made a post a few months back about how my mother bought them at Costco.

So, I went and googled Veggie Straws and BAM...my site is the first damn thing that pops up! LMAO. Go figure.

So yeah, those looking for a bag of these delicious treats, I believe only Costco & Whole Foods sells them (in an actual store). You get this huge jumbo "it will feed over ten children at a party" bag for like $4.99. Inside are, potato, spinach, and tomato flavored "chip straws". They kind of look like french fries but they're hollow, like a straw. LOL.

If you want to get them online, you can @ SoyCrisps.com and you get three huge bags for $20 or something. They prices the bags at $6 a pop though...$2 more than Costco. But whatever.

I hope this helps those of you searching for them. I eat them almost everyday - they're so good & LIGHT!

Sigh Sigh Sigh!

2009-04-23T18:36:00.001-04:00

This whole display construction is not going well. LMAO. I will never be an engineer of any sort. Haha. I'll find a way though - I know it.

I'm also attempting to design new business cards because these free ones from Vista Print are so retarded looking - it's not even that funny. I hate them and will never think of handing them out to people lmao. Cakin' is much more than THIS!

By the way, I SOLD MY DRESS! WOO! :banked!:

Punch Slap Drop Kick into the concrete

2009-04-23T00:36:00.002-04:00

I am sooooooooooooooooooooooo frustrated right now lol.

I just don't get it. I mean, I think I clearly give enough notion that I am interested in this person but it's like :waves hand over head: out of the question. Almost, as if, I don't even exist at times.

If this shit keeps happening, I'm moving on. I don't have time for all of this lol. It's never this hard for me - not to sound like a complete narcissist, because I'm not..it's just..usually...when I'm interested in someone, the feelings are usually mutual. Usually. Obviously, they may not be this time. Figures, right? All the losers want to get in my business but the one I want is so oddly nonchalant. W T F. I can't. LOL.

However, I'm sure I'll keep talking about it...LMAO.

Don't pay for me!

2009-04-22T11:28:00.004-04:00

Okay every time I tell one of my friends this odd ball thing about me, I get the most disturbing looks and reactions. I hate when people pay for me. I know it's a nice gesture and all but when a guy pulls out his wallet and pays for an entire bill - I feel so uncomfortable.

Not in an "Now I feel like I owe you" kind of way but a, "Oh you must think I expect this all the time now" kind of way. Does that make sense?

I hope it does because I don't know of any other way to put it.

If there's one thing I don't want to happen in a relationship of mine being it with a friend or a lover, is one of us to always expect a certain gesture or notion at all times. Too many expectations, lead to too many problems.

Now, my brothers always feel the need to want to slap me upside the head because they're always like, "THEY'RE SUPPOSED TO PAY FOR YOU, LET THEM PAY!" and I'm like, "But I can PAY TOO! And I WANT TO PAY!"

However, when it comes down to it -- knowing men and living with them, I don't dare say, "No, no, let me chip in - I don't want you to pay the whole thing" on the first few outings and/or if he grabs the whole check and sticks a credit card on it and pushes it to the side. I've seen my father flip about it and my brothers. Not that I'm afraid but men just have this thing about taking care of everything when they first start taking a female out - whether you're just friends or more.

I have plenty of friends that have done it and the first few times, though I cringe, I let it happen - after a few times though, I open my mouth. Because then, it's a little bit more routine and we've been out enough to say, "Look..I'm paying this time".

What do you think, ladies?

My brothers still preach, "If he doesn't pay...I'm kicking his ass" but whatever. LOL!

Inventor wanna-be../ Dress for sale

2009-04-21T23:53:00.004-04:00

Okay so I am sitting here....trying to make a make-shift spinning display for my jewelry. I want to create a "commercial" for the site so everyone can see, kind of, for themselves, the quality and actual size of my charms. However, I need a spinning display for the full effect..and well, how the hell do I make one?! LMAO.

HELP.

by the way...

I am selling my prom dress for $100. It was well over $200 - I got it from Bloomingdales in 2006 and well, it's been at the dry cleaners since and I picked it up a couple weeks ago and been staring at it and figured -- someone else needs this.

So here's a few pictures:

And me in it the day of prom featuring my father lol.

If you know anyone who needs a dress -- forward this - please. It's in amazing condition, I mean it's been at the dry cleaners forever and they even cleaned it twice - the most recent being right before I picked it up. So yeah. Thanks in advance!

I'll ttyl - I have to get back to constructing a spinning display lol

Shout out to my Favs!

2009-04-21T02:55:00.002-04:00

Guidelines

2009-04-20T00:06:00.001-04:00

Hmmmm.

Times have changed. The days of Rhett Butler telling Scarlett O'Hara he didn't give a damn are long gone. That's a shame in some ways. At least it made dating simple. Nowadays, guys try to be considerate in an attempt to not hurt your feelings. His miscues make it hard to know whether he's really into you, just wants to be friends or would love for you to switch phone plans. While words might not be his strong point, his actions are. Keep an eye out for these kinds of behavior.

He actively takes an interest in you and what you have to say. He's not just nodding and smiling and checking his watch every five minutes like you're trying to sell him life insurance. There's eye contact. He's actively listening. He's asking questions, relating things you say to his own experiences. If he's really good, he'll remember something you said and incorporate it in a future date. Try not to act too surprised.
He's forthcoming. He wants you to know about him. This manifests itself in a bunch of ways. He'll share personal details about himself. He'll even be eager to cough up basic factoids such phone numbers, his address and place of work. If he isn't giving up this kind of info, then he doesn't want you tracking him down -- or he's Batman or Superman. So if he doesn't live at Wayne Manor or the Fortress of Solitude, give it up.
He'll mark his territory. He won't pee on you or anything per se, but he will exhibit some animal behavior. If he's decided he wants you as his female, he won't want to lose you. If there's any chance that you might be snapped up by another male, he'll stake his claim. He'll be tactile with you, slipping an arm around you, possibly posturing and standing up when another guy walks onto the scene. Watch out for some regression to a more primitive man. If you hear grunting, don't panic. It's his way of saying he likes you.
He calls you back. Despite the stereotype, he will call you back. If you're a girl in demand, he won't want you to be the one that got away, so he'll call you to set up the next date or ask how you're doing. If you're getting calls for no reason, that's a good thing. However, you may want to invest in a good phone plan.
He'll check you out. You'll bring out his spy skills in a good way. He'll talk to your friends to get the 411 on you. He wants to know more about you -- your past, your present, your likes and dislikes, water hazards, etc. He's doing his homework because he wants to impress you. He's gathering this intelligence so he knows how best to woo you.
He's flirtatious. Guys get playful around women they like. It's a little dance he's doing around you to show his interest and his daring. However, he's not just being flirty, he's also probing. He's putting on a little show for you to see if you'll reciprocate. The more you play, the more he stays. Now shake that tail feather.
He's always planning ahead. If he digs you, he won't want you getting away from him. To make sure you aren't prey to some other guy, he'll be making plans for the next date before the current one is over. A full calendar is a good sign.
He's attentive. He's been listening to you, and knows what you like and where you like to go. He treats you to your favorite things and places. He'll spring surprises.
He'll blow off his buddies to be with you. It's always tricky managing existing commitments with burgeoning relationships. There are bound to be conflicts of interest at the some point. So take it as a good sign when he'll ditch going out with the boys to see you instead.
Acts of selflessness. He'll take one for the team of you and him. These can be large or small acts. They can be as small as holding your hair back for when you've got stomach flu, or as large as suffering through a Celine Dion concert and pretend he's enjoying it because you're a fan. Now “that's the power of love.”

Okay, he's doing his part, but what about you? You've got him wrapped around your little finger, but don't get cocky. You can lose him in the blink of an eye with a few classic screw-ups.

False Advertising. I understand that we all want to impress a potential new partner. It's in our DNA. Only the fittest survive and only the most interesting get dates. So make yourself interesting, but please don't pretend to be someone you're not. Don't say you were a Dallas Cowboys cheerleader if you weren't. Don't tell him you're a party girl when you're a bookworm. This is a double whammy. First, he'll be POed because he believed your character enhancements. Second, you're not the person he's looking for. If he wants the party girl and you're a bookworm, how long do you think that's going to last? Keep it real, ladies.
You get jealous for no reason. Okay, your previous guy cheated on you. That's a shame, but not all guys are wired the same. So, if your current guy hasn't done anything wrong, then give him the benefit of the doubt. Not even the Dalai Lama is going to put up with being accused of cheating or having you check up on him every five minutes.
The Princess Complex. You've got a nice little thing going on with him, but suddenly it's all about you and not about the two of you. Who died and made you queen?
Letting yourself go. You were a dynamite package with you two starting dating, but the backless cockt
ail dresses and Jimmy Choos have been replaced by moo-moos and flip-flops. Just because you've hooked your dream guy doesn't mean you can take your foot off the gas. If you don't care about your appearance, don't expect him to.
Taking it too fast. It's easy to get carried away with that guy in your life. You want to be with him every minute of the day, you think you should move in together and a summer wedding would be wonderful. That's all super -- as long as he's just as keen. If he sees you streaking ahead of him, he'll be making a U-turn, so watch your speed, Danica.

I am so with the "Is he into me?" deal. Definitely.

More wine.

2009-04-19T23:33:00.002-04:00

So, I slept for like three hours today - from 830-1130 and from 1130-230 I laid in bed and just...relaxed, I suppose lol. I was just not ready to get up and out. I had all my blinds shut and my room was dark and the fan was on high and it was almost as if it were nighttime and the window was open - except it was midday haha.

I had to get the mood right somehow, right?!

When I finally did get up (never made it to my aunts for 2, but..) I started to get ready to head over to my aunts house for my cousins 18th birthday dinner/cake. There, I drank more wine -- as if I needed more....womp! LOL

Of course, since I was were I was last night...I proceeded to get the third degree about everything. LOL My aunt is crazy. Buuuuuut, I don't blame her ;) Annd, the wine kept pouring. Funny though, the wine didn't start pouring til' most of the people left. Once my mother had left, I got three and a half glasses of it.

I got lectured on relationships, reeling this man in, my business, marketing, and partnerships and percentages all in a two hour span. Hahaha. It was a whirlwind.

Overall, I had fun. It was quite the scene lol. Now I'm watching the Sex & The City movie for the 9843769085476457th time - it never gets old and eating a salad. Way to stay healthy, huh?

Spealing of which, I need to get back on the ball and continue my workouts now that I can finally move lol.

I'll ttyl <3

Wine & Cupcakes

2009-04-19T07:43:00.002-04:00

This is what my life has come down to... drinking wine and making cupcakes. LOL!

It's currently 7:41 in the morning here in NJ and I just got home. I randomly, went out on a whim and drove into the city to meet with a good ol' friend of mine, Arden. He and his buddies were set on hitting the clubs, however, not ready to drop a car note payment on admission -- so we went to his loft and drank wine and played drinking card games. Listened to the sweet sounds of my iPod and enjoyed ourselves. It was a rather satisfying night. I think we all had a great deal of fun if I go so far as to speak for everyone lol.

Although I didn't wanna leave and drive the 20 minutes back home, I had to..or else I would've been forced to pay $30 to park my car in a parking garage to get it off the streets. That, I wasn't doing lol. So here I am. Home. And I just made two cupcake charms..ready to be put in the oven. I should be in bed though. Sigh..

I have to be at my aunts @ 2PM......... ttyl.

>_<

Hey Girl Hey

2009-04-17T15:44:00.005-04:00

Hey guys. How goes it?

All is well here. I've just found out that....get ready for it....

........is opening 10 minutes from my house!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :flatlines:

I am TOOOOOO thrilled. I cannot wait. Supposedly June it will be open. Til' then, I'm trying to get a job in there. That would be the ultimate. UO is only the greatest place to shop -- especially they're sales. You can get something that used to be $200 for $20 it's ridiculous. And lord knows that I don't pay $200 for anything but as you seen, tickets to see my favorite people. And that's only fair cause I've spent more in the past.

That's a question for the books -- what's the most you've spent to see one of your favorite artists perform?

Personally, I don't think I could go over $500. The most was the MTV Video Music Awards in 2003 and that ticket was $450 and I sat a row behind Pharrell and JT. So duh that was totally worth it, of course lol. Anywho, I'd some input on that..just to make sure I'm not crazy for that ticket price lmao.

Anywho back to me and UO. I go the second week in May or something for an interview. They said, dress as I would if I worked there. And DUH. My whole wardrobe looks like something out of that store. So yeah. Wish me luck lol.

Another reason....get ready....I don't work at the YMCA anymore. So, I'm headache free. The Advil can go to bed for awhile! I actually hold myself up pet sitting three hours a day, 5 days a week - for now. It's pretty fun. The dog's are so adorable. I watch a golden retriever named Mack and a pomeranian named Bolie and they're the sweetest ever. I get paid waaaay better than the Y which is pretty sad - considering that I'm now watching pets, not children. Go figure. Whatever though, I'm benefitting considerably. My first check, I actually can pay things with and have money left over. Whereas with my checks from the Y I put away and maybe two or three of those could equal one bill that needed to be paid. FAIL.

By the way, I want to note how unprofessional my bosses were. Tell me how everyone who worked there, knew that I was no longer with them by the time I went to bed that night. And the other counselors don't work in the Y building - they work at different schools between two towns. EVERYONE knew.

Um, last time I heard, superiors are not allowed to release that kind of information. I remember working at Steve Madden and Aldo and when someone left or got fired, all they were at liberty to say was "so and so isn't working here anymore" and when we asked why we got "that's all you need to know and all that I'm able to tell you". Or else...you know what happened? They got fired for releasing confidential information between employer and employee.

Question one in that situation: I still to this day, wonder why they let such young people (they're both like 2-3 years in my age range - I'm 20) hold such high positions?

Question two: Why are bosses allowed to co-mingle with employees and be friends with them? - Doesn't that cause difference in interest? HELLO?!

Question three: No question -- them hoes didn't like me from the get cause I was never in their circles spreading my business. ------------> Next!

Bad environment, period. They'll find out. Cause there's over a handful of other working there who feel the same but whenever they come around they want to act phony. It's okay - it'll only last for so long. I've moved on to better things, clearly. lol. Shit, now I can pay my bills. I just hope the others who hate their situations there have the balls enough to say something about what goes on.

I have to go eat now..I haven't eaten all day lol. TTYL

North American Dates Announced for Beyonce's "I AM..." World Tour

2009-04-17T15:41:00.000-04:00

North American Dates Announced for Beyonce's "I AM..." World Tour

Get into this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MSG June 21st!? I will be there...and possibly in CT the 23rd -- the day after my birthday. HEY SASHA!

Butt Pain!

2009-04-12T23:08:00.002-04:00

OMG you guys..lmao. I really cannot sit down right now..I am standing beside my desk because my ass hurts SO badly. I did this glute work out tonight after I came home from my cousins house for Easter dinner and holymotherofjesus my ass is in severe distress lmao.

I can understand WHY...I haven't worked it out in many'a'years but DAMN. Really?! It is just a rush of pain in my bottom. :slaps self: What a dumbass decision. However, no pain no gain right? So maybe when my butt ends up being the tonest (?!), tightest, most muscular butt in all of the land I will be glad I chose to start this work out tonight.

As for tonight though? I am in AGONY! My poor butt. :(

Anyways, hope you all had a wonderful Easter. I did. I spent it at my cousins with other family and the new baby girl, Victoria. What a pleasant baby she is. She's so good. She sits in her chair, sleeps, and looks around at everyone all day. Not a peep out of her. And her baby-ness has my uterus fluttering and it NEEDS TO STOP. That's a whole other story for a whole other post LMAO. Just know that I will be ignoring my uterus and all of it's wants and needs for another 10 years.

Anywho, I'm going to lay down and rest my booty muscles cause they are cursing me to hell right now LOL. Toodles.

Work It Out

2009-04-07T04:20:00.002-04:00

Whew, baby! I am feeling IT!

Today, I finally started my work-out regime for the next - well, forever. I've come to the conclusion that for the rest of my alotted time on this Earth that, I'm going to be one of those people that have to work out to keep my metabolism right. For whatever trifling ass reason, my body decided to slow itself on down and ta-da! I have a Samantha "I'm trying desperately not to cheat" Jones gut. An Anthony Merantino "Jesus! What's with the gut?!" gut. It's not that bad but I am very used to my stomach being flat and tight. Up until last September, it was flat and tight then the holidays came around. On top of the holiday food and festivities, I was basically depressed. Still sort of am...in a couple of minor ways however, it's definitely not doing my body very good -- at all.

Though I haven't gone up in sizes, I suppose my weight shifted, I've gained about 10 lbs and I see it. I know what my body looks like in shape and right now, honey, it ain't it. I'm usually toned - minus my thighs & behind, for whatever they have a mind of their own and I've given up on those broads - and lean.

So now I have a well planned out meal plan and work-out plan. 4-5(five if I'm lucky) days a week I will cycle 10 miles/an hour on my bike in the basement while listening to encouraging and inspiring music on my iPod. I will attempt to walk with my mother after work whenever it isn't raining. 4 mornings a week I will work upper body and arms for a half hour and thighs and glutes for another half hour. Once I lose a couple pounds, I'm going to start on my stomach and do crunches and such.

So far, I did my first 10 miles on the bike tonight and let me tell you! It felt amazing. I sweat like a pig but ugh, it was so invigorating. My legs were shaky a little after but then I felt fine and I had sooo much energy. Even after a day of class and work!

Right now however, my legs are starting to get sore. I know I'm going to be hurting later. But I was advised to workout through it to get my muscles used to it.

I'm really excited though. hooray for me!

What are some of your ways of keeping in shape?

Sleeplessness Rant

2009-04-02T05:27:00.000-04:00

Hey guys....I'm currently sitting in bed. Its 5 in the morning and I
can't go back to sleep! I'm so mad. See, I went to sleep at around 1 -
130 and I was fine until I had this weird and crazy dream. I don't even
remember what it was about but I woke up scared, sweating, and my heart
was racing. Then, on top of that, my allergies decided to slap me in
the mouth and I started sneezing and sneezing and sneezing!

Now my nose is semi-clogged and I get that tingling in my nose to sneeze
almost every 5 - 10 minutes - which is preventing me from sleeping.
Death to ALLERGIES! They ruin lives.

Anywho, I decided to kill sometime and write an entry I've been dying to
write for awhile. However for the sake of this person and our
progrssing sitation I didn't. But at this point in time, I don't care.
I want to be straight foward and get it all out of me.

Before I go on, my last post about something happening, I'm not going to
write about lol. Sorry guys but I gotta keep something personal lol.
Anywho moving right along.

Without mentioning names, its the least I can do at this point lol, I am
severely interested in this guy. I have no idea what it is - he is just
completely addicting to me. For awhile, I tried not to pay any
attention to it all - I avoided the idea of being remotely interested
for many reasons. One being that family members of mine, once they met
him, thought he & I should be married.

Mood killer? YES. I mean damn. LMAO. I mean I always thought he was
attractive but I always do things differently than others. I take my
time and talk a great deal....try to figure out as much as possible. And
to be told, "oh, you guys have to end up together...you can get
married!" what in the hell..lmao now why would I even consider anything
now that you've planned out our lives??? LOL so that was a setback.

Then there's the element that he's really good friends with my "people"
(I say people because if I blantantly came out and said who he's close
with..well it would be too obvious LOL) and talks to my "maker"(another
alias lmao) on the regular, etc. I don't know..that issue would be
moreso for him but I could give a damn what the hell my "people" would
have to say. I'm about to be 21 and have never been stupid in relations
before so..I don't really think they should have any say. My "maker"? I
don't think he could give a damn. I mean, he likes him enough already
to keep in touch and hang out so..its not like he has no idea who he
is. I think the prior relations would be a better deal than me bringing
someone who they have no clue about...am I right?

Another thing would probably be my "people's" knowledge of
his....hm..flirting lol I mean I'm not dumb..he's a guy and prior to
this revelation of mine, I knew he was just like any other single guy
trying to enjoy life. Whatever. Shit like that doesn't bother me as long
as people live their lives responsibly and have great intentions.

I honeslty feel he's a great guy however, I have no idea where he's at
in his life and if he would even consider a relationship. Not that I'd
rush anything...I'm not into all that instant crap with people I
genuinely feel for. I wish I knew. We keep in touch a lot - not as
much as I'd like but we do which I will admit, I enjoy.

And recently, he gave me the impression that he MAY feel the same way.
I mean, I found out in a completely unconventional way but I'm all for
suprises. LOL. When I read it, my heart dropped and I couldn't help but
smile. I just hope he meant it the way I think he did.

I'm not one to think ahead on things like this, but I do believe this
could be one for the books..

So if you're reading this and you know this is you...now you know.
Hopefully, you'll be kind enough to either stop me in my tracks or
reassure my current thoughts..
:)

Thanks..

What do you guys think I should do?

Woo..wait til you hear this!

2009-03-31T05:17:00.002-04:00

*edited* LOL Sorry.

Peace hoes (in the most loving manner<3)

Link Update

2009-03-30T01:55:00.001-04:00

I added a link to my poetry site on the right hand side -- just look in my list of links and you'll see it's the 2nd one there.

I added a poem I just wrote like 3 minutes ago lol. My first in basically, years!

Poetic Past

2009-03-30T00:52:00.002-04:00

Hey folks. Hope you all had a splendid weekend. I did - sort of. Anyways, that's not the topic of my post tonight. The topic is my past of writing and jotting, doodling, and scrapbooking.

So basically in middle school and high school I wrote poetry and drew like I honestly had no life. It consumed about 80% of my time. However, with senior year in high school came change and that change meant a number of different things, one being the loss of my interest in writing poetry and focusing on my craft. As of late, I've been contemplating getting back into the art form -- I always felt I was most creative and flourished with endless ideas when I was writing or drawing. It's almost as if when I stopped writing, etc - I lost my desire to be that creative being that I used to love to be.
Creativity is in my blood. My mother's father is a singer and a drummer; he's opened up for The Supremes, James Brown, and Little Richard back in his hay day. He still plays down in Florida with a big band and he just turned 81 last week. My father's father was a painter and also wrote (short stories, editorials) so creativity was no suprise when I started my love of music and art at the age of 2 & 3 (honey, I used to dance so hard to music, sing in my little tikes mic & radio like I was Mariah Carey, and draw pictures for the fridge whenever I could!).

So, it's no coincidence that I feel slightly incomplete without the presence of writing and drawing in my current life. What I did a few minutes ago was look up my very first blog from 2003 - it was on BlogDrive and apparently, it doesn't exist anymore LMAO. I even found posts I made on the BlogDrive forum from December 2003 -- super freaky..... but anyways...

I DID find my poetry site and like 7 poems that I had written. My favorite, thankfully, was on there..I've never copied it to paper so I was so relieved that I had finally found it. I'd like to share it with you all:

SMOKE

it dug deep with wounds open

the smoke enlarged and the door kept closing

and i was trapped in that room

me and a blaze in bloom

under the glaze of smoke

suffocating and in his blood i was soaked

my lungs gently tightened

the fire quickly hightened

and i soon became we

if only i could see

but the grey went on for days

and for miles stood the haze

but the feeling, the feeling was strange

pleasure and pain

a mosaic of two

and oddly burnt off of you

then i saw it

that light of the culprit

love the inevitable match

only if the friction lacked

i'd be free

instead of in the 3rd degree.

What do you think?

My American Idol <3

2009-03-29T04:03:00.000-04:00

\

I LOVE YOU MATT GIRAUD! And for all you stank hoes out there who didn't vote for him and had him in the bottom three last week......DIE! Matt OWNS!

<3

Beyonce I Love You..

2009-03-27T21:20:00.001-04:00

Here she is last night during the opening show of her "I Am.." tour...Yes, girl..Yes!

First Award!

2009-03-26T19:41:00.004-04:00

Holy crap! I actually won an award for my blog! :dies

I received a "Brilliant Blog" award from Miss Gina Marie over at Ree Sez

Thank you, girl!

'This award is bestowed upon a fellow blogger whose blogs content or
design is, in the giver’s opinion, brilliant.'
“When accepting this auspicious award, you must write a post bragging about it, including the name of the misguided soul who thinks you deserve such acclaim, and link back to the said person so everyone knows she/he is real. Choose a minimum of seven (7) blogs that you find brilliant in content or design. Or improvise by including bloggers who have no idea who you are because you don’t have seven friends. Show the seven random victims’ names and links and leave a harassing comment informing them that they were prized with Honest Weblog. Well, there’s no prize, but they can keep the nifty icon. List at least ten (10) honest things about yourself. Then pass it on!'"

1. I have an issue keeping my room clean. It's either obsessively clean or disgustingly filthy; clothes everywhere, empty bags, shoes all over, hamper overflowing months too long LOL, dust, make up on my dresser...it's gross. But I do clean it - I just have to be in the RIGHT mood to do it.

2. I go to sleep listening to "baby making" music. LMAO. I don't know why I just do. In middle school I burned out 5 copies of "Survivor" because I slept to "Dangerously In Love". Before that it was, "Anything" and "Anytime Anyplace". Now, well, I have a whole slew of different tracks but it has to be "bm". Last night was, "Love Scene" - and my dreams aren't sexually explicit either..they're usually weird and stupid...lmao. Go figure.

3. I love dimmed lights. I rarely ever have the ceiling light on in my room - it's either my desk lamp, one of the wall lights over my window seat or the white lights I have placed behind my dresser and my bed that, if I don't say so myself...give great effect to my room lol. "Passion's Lounge" as I call it. ha ha.

4. They call me Passion.

5. I burp really loud and obnoxiously and I don't care. I believe it comes from having three older brothers but really though, I'd rather it come from my mouth, no? & NO, I don't do it publicly LMAO. Only if I'm around people I know extremely well. It may not be cute but I don't try to be cute. So.... Whatev. ha ha.

6. I love alcohol. Yeah...

7. I am addicted to my sidekick. However, I would give it up in a heartbeat for a sexy, new Blackberry. hint hint.

8. Music is literally, my life. It's on 24/7, I used to write it and come up with melodies (college has since deteriorated my life, my motivation and the amount of time I have in my life to do this lol) and if it's not on - I'm a bitch. Point blank. lol. I have to hear something cause once it's silent in a conversation I want to hear something else that I can think about or sing, etc. I need constant auditory stimulation.

9. I've had pneumonia FIVE times and I'm almost completely immune to penicillins and amoxicillins. My last bought with it was...10 years ago, I was in 5th grade. Supposedly, I have asmtha because of it but I haven't used an inhaler since about 7th or 8th grade.

10. I work at the YMCA..and I'm not so fond of children. Problem? LMAO

Would You Mind..LOL!

2009-03-25T03:43:00.003-04:00

Okay so duh, I'm a Janet Jackson fan so clearly when the All For You album came out and #9 came on -- I expected it. "Would You Mind" is Janet at her...not freakiest but it's freakalicious nonetheless. I liked it - still do. But when this song comes on my iPod in the car and my friends are crammed in the bug...everyone is DEAD SILENT like..WTF IS THIS?! LMAO!

You tell me what YOU think of these lyrics, hahaha.

That's it...
would you mind?
mhm..
Would you?

Baby, would you mind touching me
Ever so slowly?
You're making me quiver and..
Baby would you mind undressing me
Making me feel sexy..oh
While in the moment?

Cause I'm gonna
Bathe you, play with you, rub you, caress you
Tell how much I've missed you, yeah
I just wanna
Touch you, tease you, lick you, please you
Love you, hold you make love to you
And i'm gonna
Kiss you, suck you, taste you, ride you
Feel you deep inside me ooh
I just wanna
Kiss you, suck you, taste you, ride you
Feel you, make you come too
I wanna make you come...

Baby would you mind kissing me...
All over my body..?
You missed a spot there..ooh.
Baby would you mind tasting me..?
It's making me all juicy,
Feeling your lips on mine

Cause i'm gonna
Bathe you, play with you, rub you, caress you
Tell how much i've missed you
I missed you..
I just wanna
Touch you, tease you, lick you, please you
Love you, hold you make love to you
And i'm gonna
Kiss you, suck you, taste you, ride you
Feel you deep inside me ooh
I wanna feel you..
I just wanna
Kiss you, suck you, taste you, ride you
Feel you, make you come too
Are you ready?

Baby would you mind
Come inside of me
Letting your juices free
Deep in my passion....?
Is it good to you baby?

Cause i'm gonna
Bathe you, play with you, rub you, caress you
Tell how much i've missed you
I missed you..
I just wanna
Touch you, tease you, lick you, please you
Love you, hold you make love to you
And i'm gonna
Kiss you, suck you, taste you, ride you
Feel you deep inside me ooh
I just wanna
Kiss you, suck you, taste you, ride you
Feel you, make you come too

Oh baby..would you mind?
..yeah.

I just wanna
Touch you, tease you, lick you,
Right there..
please you
Love you, hold you make love to you
And i'm gonna
Kiss you, suck you, taste you, ride you
Feel you deep inside me ooh
I just wanna
Kiss you, suck you, taste you, ride you
Feel you, make you come too

Do you like it baby?
Oh..
Just like that..
Don't move..
..go deeper.

oh..the song ended!
what the- I didn't even get to come!
Did you??

What I really want to say...

2009-03-25T03:07:00.002-04:00

So I was blog-surfing this evening and came across a pretty amazing exercise to do. It was on The Pink Jellybaby's blog and it's basically writing things you've always wanted to say but somehow couldn't. Of course, it's anonymous but you get whatever it is, out of your system and quickly. So, here I go.

We all have something we want to say to someone. Maybe it’s someone in your life now. Or, maybe it is something you wish you said to someone who is no longer in your life. It could even be Mr./Ms. Random Person that you saw in the local coffee shop today. What do you want to say that you were never able to?You can leave the person(s) identity anonymous, if you’d like. Feel free to feature more than one person. Do it in letter form or any form you prefer. Show us that creativity!

- I have a problem with coming off cold-hearted and sometimes, too straight-foward towards you. I feel you deserve it and then randomly I want your attention all over again. It's as if I think you will come to understand what it is I really need or want from you but at the same time, knowing you never will. I have a hard time grasping the fact that though we may have feelings for each other, we will never work.

- You're a breath of fresh air to me. Although you probably have no idea how I feel and that you are the reason for the pressure in my heart, I don't really care. I only pray that you see and come to feel the same way because around you, I'm so comfortable being who I really am.

- I wish I could live up to your expectations. I wish I could make you proud and do everything that I am supposed to be doing -- according to your standards. Unfortunately, I have no idea how or what my life is to be yet. I have issues with looking too far ahead and I struggle with seeing the present. Because of that, my attempt to make you happy is going down the drain. I may be a collegiate let down and struggling in my studies but I know I'm going through this for a reason and I know I will overcome it all tenfold one day.

- I'm mad you turned out to be someone both us hated as children and young teenagers. Your life is worthless and you're vision of the world is so misconstrued. You do crack cocaine now and believe you need to lie about who you are to everyone just because you believe they will like you better. When really, people are looking at you like you are completely insane. I believed we were going to get married together, have families together, and be friends for life. I guess they weren't lying when they said even the best of friends turn out to be different people. And I am mad that it came down to my finding out that you tried to hook up with my boyfriend for me to figure out that we were different people. I am mad that my being there 24/7 when you were dealing with a loss, meant nothing to you. No matter what though, I pray for you.

- I treasure your friendship. Though we seem to argue a lot, we have a great deal in common and ultimately that is why we get along. You treat me like a sister, even though, sometimes I know you hate that our relationship never became anything more. I do want to apologize for flipping out on you though, when you did make that move. I was scared - scared that your attempt would forever effect our friendship. You see, I think highly of you and respect your intelligence and when someone I ultimately look at as a "brother" makes a move, I admit, I get a bit offended. You know I don't keep many in my circle and those who are in don't look at me in that light and I make sure of it. For whatever reason I can't deal with that in the back of my mind. However, I thank you for staying true to the person you are and continuing to be an amazing friend and an amazing source of advice. You're going to make it one of these days and I'll be right there with you whenever you need me! :)

...that's it for now. lol.

IT!

2009-03-24T00:56:00.003-04:00

Goodness gracious.

--Before you read on just know that I am warning you now, this post is super personal LOL. But I don't give a damn just don't say I didn't warn you. Ok good.

Anywho, it's been exactly 7 months to the DAY since it was present in my love life. Seven! SMH. And I'm a Janet Jackson fan..so you know I'm dying inside a little as each month passes and this dry spell becomes a DROUGHT! (For those who don't get that Janet reference, all you need to do is listen to "That's The Way Love Goes", "If", "Anytime, Anyplace", "Rope Burn", "Anything", "Would You Mind", etc and realize half the structure of a relationship between Janet & the fan LOL!) Now, I don't mind not getting it. Hell, I don't ever go there unless things are legit but DAMN! Where is the legitimacy around here? Where?! Let me know because the MapQuest in my life is broken.

See I am the type of person that is completely analytical of the guys I even consider, let alone go there with. Wait, let me retract that; guys(2). There. Anywho, as I was saying... I have to see them in a certain light. For instance, there has to be some kind of challenge, attractive of course, good conversation, and has to have a potentially bright future. I'm not one of those who just get into things for the pleasure of it all. I don't feel I should waste my time. Shit, maybe it'll change if I'm 27 and still single. LMAO. Who knows. As for now, I feel I deserve everything I ask for -- not trying to sound over-demanding but I only demand the basics. I don't think it is necessarily difficult for a guy to have a challenge about him, be attractive, be smart, and to be focused.

Say that last sentence outloud. I just did and realized, "You dumbass..if it wasn't difficult you wouldn't be in this DAMNED situation!" Sigh. So it seems that it wouldn't be that difficult. Clearly, it is but...I have high hopes for that special guy.

I may have already found him..I'm not sure yet. But I do have my eye/mind on one person in particular. I doubt anything will come to fruition anytime soon but I do hope because he is one of a kind. My problem is whether or not he's even at a point in his life where he could be with someone. How do you find that out? I keep my distance with certain things -- we're not nearly in the vicinity of discussing such topics. As of now, I am just being a friend. I hate that but shit, I have no choice. lol. I think he finds me interesting...I know he doesn't know that I think of him the way that I do but...ugh it's all so confusing. Especially during times such as now, when I am totally overwhelmed by this lack of satiation. It makes me wanna just call him up and give it all away - however, I know that's the furthest from the right way to do this haha. I am not that crazy.

I also think my past situation left me like this. His unability to satisfy was half the reason we no longer co-exist and I pray that none of you guys out there have to deal with anything remotely similar to that. Trust me. It is SO irritating and will make you want to give up in a heart beat. LOL. So here I am, still unsatisfied and single because I have such a complex of who I need to find.

Maybe I will attempt to further things along and try to find out more and more about where he and I are headed....if anywhere.

Sigh. Love.
what the hell!

haha.
ttyl

Victoria!

2009-03-23T15:14:00.000-04:00

Look at baby Victoria! This is my cousins new baby girl, she finally
came home from the hospital this weekend and we're over here in Staten
Island at the house now. I just held her -- isn't she precious?!

She's the first girl in our family in 18 years!

Finally, Justin!

2009-03-20T14:58:00.002-04:00

His 901 brand of tequila that he's releasing is coming out in MAY! Woo Hoo! Here's the article from On The Red Carpet:

Justin Timberlake is looking to get you in a
party mood. The 28-year-old pop singer-songwriter, record producer, dancer and actor is now gonna sell his own brand of tequila.

The young entrepreneur has named his tequila 901. The digits happen to be the area code for JT's hometown, Memphis.

He's been working on the liquor for two years. It will be sold starting in early May in New York, Los Angeles, Las Vegas and St. Louis.

Hey girl hey. I am TOO excited. I was so upset I passed up his concert and later found out that he had BARS everywhere in the audience selling liquor. Me & Justin would've had a BLAST. I'm bringin sexydrunklove back. yeah.

Call me the bargain QUEEN..

2009-03-20T03:02:00.005-04:00

...Cause I just got the cutest clutch for the best price in the WORLD.

THIS! For $4.99 brought down from $32.50. I am way tired and have to get up early but I HAD to post this. I was so proud of myself. haha. I have plans tonight and needed a clutch my old one, that I've been using for 3 years now needs to GO! It has seen it's glory days so here's my new one. And for WHAT A PRICE! :dies
It's rather big, not like a normal clutch..but.....I like things big. wink wink I had to. LMAO.
Anyways.. that is all haha.

Have a great Friday night everybody!
<3

My Predicted Wedding Song

2009-03-19T04:18:00.003-04:00

So, in like approximately 10 years I plan to get married. And since I was 12 I said this would be one of my choices for my wedding song:

Listen to the lyrics.
What do you think?

Pearl the Cat

2009-03-16T03:56:00.002-04:00

Meet Pearl the cat. She's 2 years old all black with a white dot on her chest. She's super fly and she knows it. She rocks a black studded up collar with like, 8 diamonds. She holds grudges hard but if you feed her, she quickly forgets everything.

She wasn't always my friend. You see, my brother moved back home and brought her with him when she was only 6 months old. She only roamed his room. She was always so scared to explore the rest of the house. That is, until he got a new girlfriend and she's allergic to cats so when she'd come by, Pearl the cat would have to be quarantined -- to my room. She still holds that grudge against him. However, it worked out for me because now we're homegirls. She knows I have her back and is now, pretty much, my cat. I feed her, I brush her, as of late -- been buying her food...smh@ my brother. But yeah, she sleeps on my bed when my brothers couch in his room is full of clothes, comes into my bed in the morning, wakes me up, sits with me in my room when I'm doing work, etc.

We chill hard. I like her. She has a lot of attitude and sass. She'll sit on the pillow next to your head and rub her tail all over your face just because she can. She sits infront of the fence in the kitchen that keeps Max the dog from roaming the entire house and taunt him. Just because. She'll purposefully drink out of Max the dog's water bowl because she knows he hates that but won't do anything about it. If she was in high school, she'd be the type of girl you wanna beat up. But she's not, she's a cat and she can get away with it -- and she knows it!

Here's some pictures of her lounging in my budoir:

CAUGHT!

She has an eating problem -- she always wants to eat but doesn't do nearly as much exercise as she should so she's on a diet. But as you can see...she hates the diet and doesn't think anyone will notice if she knocks the bag of food over for some extra grub. Sneaky, sneaky, Pearl.

That's Pearl.

Maybe Max will be next but I just had these pictures from two nights ago so I figured I'd put em' up lol.

Dedication

2009-03-16T03:37:00.002-04:00

For that special person who cheered me up all day.
Even though you may not know it, I appreciate you.
You care unconditionally, despite my moods or my quirks & it makes all the difference.
<3

An Aching Heart..

2009-03-15T05:53:00.001-04:00

I'm laying here in bed, its 5:00 AM and I just can't sleep. I got home
2 hrs ago from a pretty fun night with friends and now I'm here in the
empty house, all alone and my heart literally, hurts. Its a if it has
sunken into my chest and is slumped against my breast bone in anguish or
from pure exhaustion.
I'm not sad or depressed...I'm lonely. This emptiness filled my Facebook
status and an old friend of mine commented, "sounds like someone needs
to hit the dating scene.." They heard right. I know I do. Its just so
difficult for me.
I worked so hard over the past year and a half on myself and attempting
to turn my collegiate career around and into a brighter direction. I'm
not one for multi-tasking, trust me. I withdrew from a semester because
of my mental anguish last year (along with an illness but nonetheless,
mental anguish) and ended up taking one summer class and finally
changing my major this January. There was no way I was going to fix me
AND worry about where my education was going. My brain and my thoughts
were just too misguided and misconstrued for me to function. And as a
result, my "love life" has been nonexistent. I don't rensent what I
did...it was a smart choice on my behalf but now..my heart is just
extremely empty. I apologize for using the word "empty" so repetitively
but there's no better choice of wording for what I feel.
So much has changed in my life and I suppose I'm at that point where I
"need" somebody else there with me. I quote need only because for me,
when you "want" someone, there's usually only one thing you're remotely
interested in getting from that person. It can be material, physical,
etc. But it usually only one thing that happens to be the straw that
breaks the camel's back in the end. I say "need" in the sense that, we
as humans need food to live and air to breathe. Me? Right now, I need a
significant other.
However, I hardly know where to start. I don't know HOW to date..I've
never dated anyone before. Both my past boyfriends I talked to for a
period of time and we just "were"...one day we were an item. It wasn't
this process of going out and talking and experiencing things. It was
basically like a promotion. Friends whom at one point became a couple.
So what do I do? Especially in my condition!
And...there's also the guard I hold. I must be honest and admit,
although I may be strong in personal issues and complications
surrounding me, when it comes to miseries of the heart I tend to- no, I
basically pull this whole "I'm over it" tactic ASAP. The "I don't care"
attitude. Though, a lot of the times I don't care...sometimes and as of
latem frequently, find myself becoming overwhelmingly upset over things
that I led others to believe meant nothing to me. I believe I'm afraid
of showing that I hurt...because if I do that showcase will then make me
vulnerable for some craziness to happen.
I hate to bring this up NOW, so long after after everything has been
said and done but I'm going to do it..and I don't care if he reads it -
I hope he does because its the one time he will see what I feel about
us. My last boyfriend, whom I've been broken up with for about 2&a half
yrs now, and I ended on a bad note. Too many issues and too many other
people were in our relationship. That fact, still irks the crap out of
me. Anyways, we said our peace and are/were kind of friends - we still
felt the need to hook-up whenever we infrequently hung out. We never
hung out too much. I felt this odd feeling as if I owed it to him and
myself..like we had unfinished business. And it popped in my head a few
times that maybe we should get back together. Nothing was really wrong
with our relationship but everyone who was in it. However, after we
broke up for about 3 months...I had my "I don't care about anything"
phase and I believe it further damaged our chances. I then always felt
the need to never again, let him back in. And him with me. But I needed
that. Though our circumstances, he was the only one I really trusted
with certain things, even though he was for the most part, a complete
mystery to me.
I always and still do feel if I let my guard down..then everyone will
know the truth and know that I lied..that I did and do care. Even now, I
fear letting him know simple things like, "it hurt to know you found
someone new...but I'm happy for you and wish you the best" And to know
that -i love him, always will. I'm way past it all and no longer "in
love" with him. But still ..I can type it here but say it to him or
e-mail him? I can't. And I always thought it should've been said at one
point for closure. But my pride & those walls around me..they stopped me
from doing so. And that guard and those walls are what I'm afraid of
letting down when meeting someone new. I so badly want someone to see me
and not this nonchalant and cold-hearted person. Its not who I am. I'm
such a caring and funny person...I don't want to block that all away. I
want to embrace it...I just need help on how to appreciate sharing who I
am with possible suitors openly, without the constant fear of being too
kind or too gentle and facing reprecussions for it.

Help...? Anyone..?

Beyonce Finally Did It..!

2009-03-14T15:30:00.003-04:00

She finally got the cover of the newest issue of VOGUE Magazine. FINALLY! They hardly put entertainers on their cover until recently, let alone African American entertainers so this is a big deal. I know Jennifer Hudson finally got the cover in 2007 and Michelle Obama this year. Congratulations to my home girl, Beyonce!

And for those of you who are fans, her tour dates for the US should be released soon - atleast I hope so. I plan to go see her at Madison Square Garden since I passed up the chance to see her on her last tour, The Beyonce Experience (I was in the Hamptons..lmao.)

:marks VOGUE on shopping list

Cupcake Giveaway, Wrestler, Food..

2009-03-02T04:24:00.002-05:00

So before I say anything -- there's a new free giveaway on Cakin' so go on over and give it a go. You know you want one of those sweet treats. :) lol.

Anyways, I saw the Wrestler last night and um...why didn't ANYONE tell me that most of the movie was filmed DOWN THE BLOCK FROM MY HOUSE?! Yeah, that's right...in my NEIGHBORHOOD. If you've seen it -- the legion he sold his paraphernalia at like two blocks from me, the bar - literally down the street (Butch Kowals), the rec center; again, like 4 blocks from me, the ACME he works at is like a town over about 10 minutes away, and the trailer park he lives in is like 5 minutes from my house. I was sitting there like..wait, that's here..that's..he was in my neighborhood...MA! THAT'S WHERE WE LIVE! My mom was like omg. I could've met Mickey Rourke!

No mom I doubt that..but thats our town! lmao. It was so weird seeing that in the film..on the big screen and I drive by all those places just on my way to the school for work. So odd.

Before the movies though, we went to Pho Ahn Dao the vietnamese restaurant in Edison, a new one we discovered that has the best Pho I've ever had. I had a bowl and a half. Mine and some of what my mother didn't finish. Ugh I cannot get enough of that stuff. The lady in there was like, "Oh youre back again! Take out isn't enough?" I was like damn.. lol they got me. I was like I can't help it -- I could eat this for the rest of my life. She started asking me if I was Vietnamese and I told her No, Filipino -- how'd you know I was asian? And then proceeded to be the third person that said I looked it because Caucasian and Asian mixed people are very beautiful and I was completely embarassed. My father laughed and my mother smiled. (My mother is the one with the Filipino). I said thanks, and continued to hover over my bowl. LOL.

After that and the movie, I went to Rutgers for my friends birthday and lets just say..wack party. Weed heads, recklessly drunk people, and for whatever ever...kids from high school. Why my friend hangs out with ruthless 15 and 16 year olds I have no idea but everytime I go to a party and that age group is present I start feeling really old, like I shouldn't drink infront of them, and I get really pissed at how ignorant and rude they can be. So I left. LOL. I made my appearance and that was all that mattered.

As for now, I have to finish the rest of these 11 cupcakes I just made.

Toodles for now.

Montauk Spotlight

2009-02-25T09:42:00.003-05:00

I've added a new link to my favs. It's a little cafe/restaurant/hot spot out in Montauk, NY that's run by friends. It's called the Gig Shack and basically, it's an amazing atmosphere, amazing people, and most importantly amazing food all in one -- for an amazing price!

So, if by any chance anyone is from Long Island, visits the East End, or looking to visit the great East End (past the Hamptons..and yes, life does exist past the Hamptons lol) stop by the Shack and indulge yourselves. Trust me, it's worth it.

P.S. Montauk is pretty awesome too lol. I'd know - all my summers have been spent there and I predict my future summers will be as well. :)

Some photos of Montauk:

Main Town - where it all goes down lol

Montauk Harbor - where my father drives his boat out into the open ocean nearly every weekend from May - November.

View of the inlet to the harbor from Gin Beach; the jedi on the left and on the right

Some surfers at dusk at Ditch Plains

Surf Casting @ Sunset -- Probably one of my brothers or their friends, I bet. LOL

The Nepaegue Stretch

Just to give you a peek. ;)

Oscars Fashion Recap

2009-02-23T00:25:00.008-05:00

There were a great deal of gorgeous gowns this year. Classic black, metallics, and light whimsical colors all graced the gowns worthy of mention here.

Natalie Portman made you want to get plastic surgery or something -- she is just a flawless beauty. So pretty. She wore a pink strapless Rodarte gown and the bodice looked amazing during the telecast while she presented.

Mean Girls & Mama Mia's Amanda Seyfried showed up on the red carpet in this Valentino dress. It kind of looked too big on her. That, or the bow was trying to eat her. On the runway, the bottom on the dress is supposed to be a tad bit higher and reasonably so -- this looks big.

Penelope Cruz wore this gorgeous Balmain vintage gown. It's over 60 years old and she looked amazing in it on stage winning for best actress in a supporting role. It had beautiful embroidered designs and the gown was draped beautifully.

Miley Cyrus suprised me in this Zuhair Murad Couture. An ivory dress with silver and navy detailing, belted waist (very popular tonight), and beautifully layered gown. Amazing pick for her.

Alicia Keys showed up in this pink strapless gown and wig -- or atleast it looks like a wig. The dress was decent, her make up though, AMAZING. She's always gorgeous.

The always pale and snowy Tilda Swinton appeared in this Lanvin get-up. I'm not too fond it. Her look doesn't sit well with me. It makes me kind of naustious. Oh well.

Beyonce, who you all know, I LOVE, disappointed me this year. She ALWAYS shows up at the Academy Awards slaying but tonight? She showed up in an extremely form-fitting House of Dereon (gag) mermaid gown, straight out of the Tina Knowles Curtains to Dresses Studio. Atleast so it appeared. The gold pattern, ew. The hair? Even worse. She is a beautiful woman though. So atleast she's pretty.

My favorite look from the night came from Sarah Jessica Parker in Dior Haute Couture. This "barely mint" princess gown had a gorgeous embroidered bodice with gold designs. Below the belted waist was a wide skirt of tulle. I thought she looked phenomenal!

Taraji P. Henson wore a fantastic white, layered Cavalli gown that was quite a vision. She looked gorgeous. Her hair and her jewelry completed her look, ten-fold. Gorgeous woman!

Jessica Biel looked quite pretty in this gown. The bloused bow hanging from the edge of the dress is definitely a structure that is in. I wasn't too fond of the straight length, I'd much rather see her in a mermaid, or trained gown. The straight look didn't do much for her figure and she has a gorgeous figure.

Diane Lane I thought looked angelic in this black strapless gown. It was enough for her. I never really thought she needed much to make her beautiful. She's a simple, natural beauty and I loved this look on her.

Marisa Tomei showed up in a grey satin organza Atelier Versace gown. I thought she looked fabulous. Very fitting and her hair was beautiful.

Kate Winslet scored literally, in this steel blue Saint Laurent gown. The constructed one shoulder look is definitely in and the belted waist is a focal point in many of the dresses that were on the carpet.

Freida Pinto in a blue Galliano dress; simply amazing. The one armed lace and fabric around her next with the fitted waist looked gorgeous on her.

Angelina Jolie in a black Elie Saab gown looked classic and demure. Her hair tousled back and emerald green jewels finished her look. It looked a lot like Beyonce's 2005 Atelier Versace black-velvet gown.

Here's my second favorite, Anne Hathaway in a champagne Armani Prive gown looking absolutely gorgeous! I loved this gown and it fit her so well. The silver and cream suited her complextion and she's already a naturally beautiful woman, this dress made her look AMAZING! The whole lower half of the gown was layered in paillettes that gave it that scaly, mermaid shinyness. She completed her look with jewels from Cartier.

These were just some of the highlights. Overall, the red carpet was rather pleasant. Many followed popular trends this season and many stunned with their flowing mermaid gowns and layered gowns.

Sweet Recognition

2009-02-22T23:10:00.002-05:00

I love looking at my Google Analytics and Feed-jit and seeing all the people who visit my blog. It's so interesting because although I'm told different, people I am no longer in contact with - visit rather often. Hm.

I guess I may be the only one uninterested in our relationships.

Honestly though, when you see someone who you don't necessarily like visiting your blog, clearly being interested in what you have to say and in what you are doing you just cannot help but laugh to yourself. Am I right, or am I right?

<--
Georgie agrees with me.

Oscar Updates All Night.

2009-02-22T19:58:00.002-05:00

Follow me through Twitter. I'll be Twitting all night from my budoir, loves!

My purchasesssss/BARGAINS!

2009-02-20T22:31:00.004-05:00

So I got this shirt for $29.50 @ Forever 21. It looks so cute on -- definitely feeling all these long flowing, embroidered shirts that are out this season.

This one a was $27.50 and I had to have it. The detail and studded designs said, "TAKE ME NOW" And I did. Looks gorg on. I plan on wearing this to dinner on Wednesday night in the city.

Here's all my purchases laid out on my bed. I also got two pairs of skinny jeans from Pac Sun; Hermosa in 3 Short cause I'm a short person. And?
Anywho - I got them in dark blue and black. Also got a new black belt from Forever21. I have a black skinny belt from there and well, I like my jeans extra tight around my waist and the belt disagreed and decided to turn out like an old wash rag. It's shredded. Maybe it's telling me to get my ass on a tredmill or something but whatever. I have a new belt now. :D

And a STEAL! I got those black suede boots from Target on clearance for $7.48!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Down from $39.99. Bitch what! I was rolling. I couldn't believe me eyes! & While in Target I got the new Patene Nature Fusion conditioner to help my poor hair out. My mother says its normal, but I feel like my hair is falling out lmao. So I got some strengthener conditioner and Pantene ALWAYS seems to do the job when I need a job done. So yeah. I'll let you know how my hair turns out in 14 days (the speculated time it takes to see a difference). Alright well, tonight I'm going out with the mens in my life - to a club. Psh. Don't ask me why. I'm not really a club person - too many people to look at, see, bump into, smell, etc - but give me a couple dranks and I'll be enjoying myself. As long as they play me a "Single Ladies". WHOA OH OH OH OH OH..

Yeah. Wish me luck. LOL.
ttyl.