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lover.friend.daughter.sister.jewelry designer.
student of life.creative.writer.cancer.
native new yorker.residing in new jersey.


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currently on Fifty Shades Darker



    bijou box

    Here we are
    In lust and
    There's no
    Sign of us
    Just sweat
    Tears and
    Why haven't we stopped yet?
    Here again
    Back again
    We can't get it right

    And I want
    And fulfilling
    But it's slowly killing
    And I'm losing my mind
    Unable to grasp your time
    Failing to draw the line
    Between you and I

    Wanting from you
    What doesn't exist
    Thinking that the right kiss
    Will give me what I wish

    Intoxicating and
    Hard to quit
    Addicted to this
    Hopeless shit
    All you seek
    Are empty thrills
    And here in this bed of bones
    My heart lies still..

    -me -

      carpe diem
    So as some of you may know, I used to be an avid blogger; Large and ridiculously italicized emphasis on, "USED TO BE". Then life hit me and I just fell off, trying to come back here and there and failing miserably. However, this blog has always been a treasure of mine...yes, unfortunately like most human beings, I too treat the things I love the most like shit at times. I apologize.

    I've always felt I had a lot to say. And I do. Which brings me to the realization that for the past few years I've been pretty silent on a great deal of things in my life. I recognize that it's not entirely healthy to be that way. As a result, I think it kind of solidified my tendency to let things slide and become indifferent to situations throughout the past few years. I'm not very pleased with the realization, at all. 

    I was once a very outspoken (at almost all times), and questioning young person. Now, though it may help me to save-face, I move through things without adhering to my personal needs. 

    I plan to change that. Take charge. Carpe Diem.

    I plan to discuss the things that bother me, blurt out the questions that are nagging me, question my own mental authority, and I plan to start off doing it here. Because honestly, it says something at low levels if you become an introvert publicly, but if you can't speak on it here, then it speaks volumes. For me personally, at least. 

    I was always oblivious to writing a blog and wondering what people who read it would say. I found that eventually I became aware that my writing could offend or anger some people (people who I was obviously writing about) but I know now that, that's where my truth lies. In being honest and forthcoming in my writing with not only myself but the people around me. Whether I or they like it or not. 

    So if you're a friend of mine or involved in my life one way or another, you will probably be mentioned eventually. If you don't like it....I honestly have nothing to tell you except, oh well. You probably didn't know me when.

    But if you accept me and support me, then you deserve to know me from now on. 

    I look forward to all the posts to come.

    Maybe even one tonight. I have a current issue that I'd like to analyze and get completely off my chest...make yourself at home.

      Guess Who's Back..?

    Yes, kids. I am back!
    Just making this post to let you all know what the deal is. 

    I look forward to blogging again!

    Missed this!
      Check out Bijou Box Jewelry!

    Bijou Box supplies you with all the accessory satisfaction you need!
    Intricately designed one of a kind handmade jewelry for any occasion!
    Affordable & soulful!

    When "one of a kind" is mentioned, it's just that. Bijou Box rarely makes duplicates of any
    of the jewelry seen on the site. If any, there are at most, two of a single
    design. So you're really getting something special that you won't find anywhere else.

    Bijou Box also takes pride in the supplies used. All supplies are imported
    from all over the world; i.e. beautiful, fragrant, sandalwood beads imported
    from India. Dyed beads imported from souks through out the
    Middle East/Africa (Morocco, Dubai, Qatar, Egypt), Tibetan silver charms, crosses,
    beads, hand carved yak bone beads, hand carved buddha beads, etc.
    As well as imported South American gemstone beads, jade beads from Eastern Asia,
    and exclusive Swarovski element beads from accredited sellers.

    Take a look and leave some feedback!

    Are you Bijou Box chic?

    So I know I've been neglecting my blog. Do I have a reason? No. Not really. I just haven't felt like being here. LOL.

    Matter of fact, right now, I have NO reason to write, simply because...I don't think I have anything to write ABOUT. Life has just been being, life..quite frankly. I've just been..existing.

    That sounds so lame but it's true. I've been re-upping things on Cakin' and taking orders. Which takes up most of my time. School is just..school. Ew. I hate it. I'm like..a professional fucking student. If it weren't for my parents being so pressed on me receiving a paper to legitimize what I'm ALREADY doing, I would've already started my business and looking for store fronts or something. Honestly, I have credits in Journalism, Visual Arts, and now Small Business Studies. I don't want to do this shit anymore. I feel like, the more I stay in school, the more lost I get on choosing a damn major. I'm a Cancer..so I want everything that I love in one place and quite frankly, I love a lot of things that are scattered all over the spectrum of getting a degree.

    It's so stupid.

    Anywho...I'm DOING IT. Am I retaining? Probably not. But whatever. It's free so..*throws hands in air*

    What else is going on? Um...summer is coming. Thank GOD! And I've finally started to lose weight. Noooooo...I don't think I'm fat or any of that. But I wasn't comfortable being 5'4" and 132 lbs. I had gained a good 10-15 in the past year and a half and I felt gross for a period of time.

    Now, I weigh 125 and I'd be happy keeping this..those extra pounds off made a nice difference. A couple more weeks of walking and keeping my intake of NASTY red meat monitored..I'm straight.

    I say NASTY because...I watched Food Inc a few weeks ago..and...EW. America is so fucked up for the way they distribute our food. If you haven't seen it. Rent it, buy it..it's going to air on PBS April 21st. So watch for it. Set your DVR.

    One thing you will probably CHANGE forever...is your amount of visits, if any, to fast food places. *GAG ME* Sooooooooooooo disgusting.

    I was so ashamed of myself today..I ate a hot dog because I was starving and...no one had gone food shopping and it was between a hot dog or lemonade girl scout cookies. And I don't like lemon on my cookies. SO......yeah. LOL!

    Anyways..I dont have anything else to talk about. This is a dead end street tonight LMAO. Sorry.

    Maybe I'll be back in the AM with something more mind-blowing.

    < O L D E R P O S T