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moonchild

♥love.24.energy.flesh.bones.
lover.friend.daughter.sister.jewelry designer.
student of life.creative.writer.cancer.
native new yorker.residing in new jersey.






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currently on Fifty Shades Darker

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      take me outtt TONIGHT!
    what it do baby...

    so i just got in about..two hours ago. me & steph went outt-took over new jersey. what! nah let me stop lying! we just went to the mall; we saw latif- he is a damn trip. telling us the drama that is going on in the high school; yknow, who is fighting this one because she is talking shit, who got jumped by somebodys cousins, and who is pregnant and what not. you know something, i thought that school was a mess last year when i was a senior but chiiiile! oh my goodness. them children are wild! they really out did everyone this year. but what-ever! so over it.

    after our mall excursion we went to PANERA BREAD our main spot. usually i get some soup and a sandwich but since my mother made some amazing chicken soup, i only had, well, more soup. i make no sense a lot of the times..but anyways. steph had this soda called "Fu Fu Berry" ..omg. FLY! it was so good. it went along with our crazy ass conversation about how G it would be when Hilary Clinton becomes President on the United States. Because You All KNOW She Will Be ! OK! We were saying how her inauguration ceremony is going to have rappers and shit...how when they introduce her the intrumental to B.I.G.'s "Notorious" will be playing in the background and a choir is going to sing, "No-No-Notorious!" and she's going to be standing there with her arms folded real hood-like. Ah! I was dying! We're stupid, we know but it was a fun conversation.

    then we picked up Steph's nephew from his friends house and we went to Elizabeth to get some cheap ass candy. Yeah, we're dumb! We drove all the way over there for candy but yo, let me tell you. Even though a man outside asked us if we had some rock, I got 5 packets of Cry Babys and two packets of Tongue Splashers- oh! and a Ring Pop for TWO DOLLARS! Craziness! My mouth kinda hurts now from eating two packets of those Cry Babys, but whatever! I haven't had those since I was like, 5 years old on my block in Staten Island. Memoriesssssss....!

    Then..we went to visit Steph's friend who looks like Lloyd. We decided after that to go bowling..but I was not prepared (I had pumps on, so I had to go home and get socks. You know I have to be cute..gosh!) Then we picked up her other friend from the train and went to some bootleg ass cosmic bowling in Edison where this bitch lady wnted us to pay $40 to play a game of bowling! BALLS! OK! No way in the real world, am I, Shannon Christine ****, paying $40. No, just not happening. Then somehow, it ended up being $30 and I only agreed to put $10 in and we were fine. Now, I don't bowl and I haven't in a long ass time..but! I kicked ass! Whooo! I had strike after strike, like nobodys business! But yeah, let me stop bragging about my luck!

    On to other things...right now I'm just in my room. I watched RENT with my cousins when I came home. Lord I haven't seen that movie in a minute. & I'm kind of...thinking about Eddie. I don't know why, but today he's been on my mind. I know he is having issues with his health and what not- which by the way, I still don't know what they are, but yeah, I don't know. The whole break-up didn't really affect me like everyone else thought it would because I kind of prepared myself for it, I guess to save-face. Just recently, the past day or so, he's been prominent in my mind; this worried and/or sympathetic feeling comes over me. I don't feel like I should feel bad, even though someone has told me they feel bad for him. Then again, that person was just meddling and being malicious with her words. (Kick rocks, please!) Everyone else just expected all of this, not this soon, but they all knew it was coming. Which I find horrible. It's terrible when all your friends have to tell you, "I can't believe you two are together.." or "It's not even like you guys are even remotely attracted to each other.." and I've gotten, "What do you want out of it? Because you're not happy." and the "Does he even like you?" They all hurt. Though those comments didn't decide my resulting action, they definately back up why I did finally just call it quits and ask for my space.

    But I'll admit, I miss that love and that connection. I live for it, I really do. Affection means the world to me. But I guess it just wasn't meant to be at this point in time. I felt a big void between us and I couldn't fill it...because it grew too wide. I did feel responsibilty for a great deal of it at first, then I pointed the finger..now I can understand why it was both of us and how the distance really came upon in a way, by itself. oh well... i'm just glad we are still talking a little. I know he probably doesn't even want to, though he says he understands what happened. I just feel he blames himself, too much. Despite the shit I've said, it is not all him like I stated before. Hopefully, the time will clear both of our heads and let us focus a little on ourselves for the time being. Afterall, you have to love & know yourself, in order to love & know someone else.

    That's it for me today ninjas!
    Stay up.

    ciao ciao!


    Song: Lost Without U - Robin Thicke, my husband; so jump off you ugly critters!


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