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moonchild

♥love.24.energy.flesh.bones.
lover.friend.daughter.sister.jewelry designer.
student of life.creative.writer.cancer.
native new yorker.residing in new jersey.






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currently on Fifty Shades Darker

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      Lady Sings The Blues....
    Ugh..my God. What the hell is it? Can I get a break? Ever?

    I just got an e-mail from my math professor- it's an Early Warning Notice about me failing. What the hell! I've been absent twice, (and there is no attendance rules @ Middlesex) made up the work, never missed anything important- did all my homework. I swear..everytime something is going great, some stupid shit happens. All the time. Y'know..I am really really trying to get all A's this semester- every semester from now on..and it's like, "No, you can't have that." Everytime I try. & Right now, I have an A in every single class, but math- according to this notice.

    I'm so upset...I gave up a lot of shit to concentrate on school too. I basically have no life because I want to be so focused. I have nothing...and look..I get a failing notice. It doesn't make any sense..

    I mean just the other day, I was at my brother's apartment with my parents- we stopped by for a little. And my brother asked how I was doing in school and whatnot, and before I could even say anything my parents had to chime in and go, "She does nothing..she has no life. She needs to get a life and a job.." Like..OK. What the fuck? They want me to get a life and go out, they want me to get a job, and they want me to get all As. So yeah, I'm going to get a job and start making plans. So when I get that job and work 5-10 all the time..and go out on my days off and on the weekends, you want me to get straight As? Please. I did that the first semester of senior year and ended up with two Cs, a B, and one A and that was in some stupid elective. And they weren't happy with that at all. But no they want it all again..but you know what? Sorry- I can't give you perfect.

    And just when I felt like I could accept really focusing on school instead of everything else I too, wanted for myself, getting kicked when I was down just helps me think that I'll amount to nothing.

    I'm just so confused..and I'm tired of getting so upset over it.
    And it's so quiet when things like this happen...which also upsets me.
    You do so much to give your ear to others and when you're hurting...nobody wants to hear it.

    What can I do..


    Song: I Am Changing - Dreamgirls Soundtrack (Jennifer Hudson)
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