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moonchild

♥love.24.energy.flesh.bones.
lover.friend.daughter.sister.jewelry designer.
student of life.creative.writer.cancer.
native new yorker.residing in new jersey.






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currently on Fifty Shades Darker

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      So the weekend is approaching..
    Yeah today is Friday and after my government class, it's officially the weekend. I wonder what I'll be doing..hm.

    Anywho, I'm having mixed feelings lately. I think I have a crush on somebody. haha. I mean he's nice, he's older than I am.., and when he talks to me- he looks in my eyes and smiles and is- he just listens. He's interested in what I have to say, even if it's me reading notes that he missed. And well, I don't know him, but I don't know- he's just a nice person; pleasant. Here's the thing though, I don't think I can go any further than sitting next to him in class and chatting casually. I am so inbetween "No, I don't want to.." and "Well, maybe.." Basically, I'm saying that I'm curious I guess. I feel badly about it though, because well, I still have thoughts...about well you know.

    I just think somedays, I should really re-consider him, give him the chance that he may really take advantage of. It was just so much effort put into it for something that went well for such a short period of time. Very shor period of time when I really think about it...it was good before we even got together- was bad- was good for a short while- school came and it was all downhill from there. & I really wish I knew why and how...but I don't and that's what makes me also think, maybe it will never be as we thought it would be. Maybe I'm always going to be this idealistic figure to him, that he has to be altruistic to, in all the wrong ways.

    So in return, I don't feel like I should have any feelings or interest in anyone else really, until I really figure out where we stand. I don't know where we stand. I mean it's not like I've been galavanting around..I've been the exact opposite. But him? Who knows..

    Ugh. I guess I have a great deal to try and work out with all of this. I just wish everything was how it was...when it was great....

    Well, I have to get to my homework..I'll ttyl



    Song: I Don't Wanna - Aaliyah


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