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moonchild

♥love.24.energy.flesh.bones.
lover.friend.daughter.sister.jewelry designer.
student of life.creative.writer.cancer.
native new yorker.residing in new jersey.






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currently on Fifty Shades Darker

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      :Shaking my head
    <---- Duffy's "Breaking My Own Heart" Put it on and listen to it if you want to know what is going through my mind right now. I don't know why -- well, I kind of have an idea as to why but as for right this second, I have no clue as to why I am still so emotionally addicted to this certain situation. I want it to happen..sooooooooooooooooooooo bad but I know if it does -- I'm never going to get over it. And most of me, doesn't really care at all that it won't end if I keep on, keeping on with trying to get what I want, to happen.

    Now, as to why I think I'm still an addict of the sort to this situation - I've never really stepped off the boat and I still feel like there is unfinished affairs that need to happen..not only for my benefit but for the other persons. --The denial and attempt to ignore what is happening, is so obvious. I mean, they've even "moved on" and still....ended up back to how we get caught up -- over and over again.

    Also, I'm torn between two. This situation and the start of a new one; one a lot more promising and worthwhile. However, I still feel like I need that one last moment to push me out of this funk.

    And, unfortunately, for his other party, I KNOW it'll happen...and they'll most likely, as anyone in that situation would be, devastated. They'll probably never find out if he plays it right but you never know. I personally, can't apologize for unfinished business that was started a long, long time ago.

    :continues to pull hair out.


    p.s.
    It's Christmas Eve. <3


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