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moonchild
 lover.friend.daughter.sister.jewelry designer. student of life.creative.writer.cancer. native new yorker.residing in new jersey. Instagram
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Well, I've never been one for "groups or cliques" but today I finally succumbed to my life long, internal passion -- art. I've always had a hard time concentrating and staying focused in school and though never diagnosed with any type or form of a learning disability/A.D.D. for lack of a better term.. the only things that would keep me focused and on point were Art class and English class; Journalism class was a haven for my brain junior year in high school, as well. So basically anything creative, colorful, anything that involved my hand materializing what it is was that I was seeing or thinking. Now, I've wanted to be a Journalism major since 7th GRADE! I always thought I would end up writing for the rest of my life. It never dawned on me that maybe, just maybe, I was only enjoying writing that much because it was the only thing I had control over in my school studies. I mean, up to that point Art was never such a big topic in school -- always a once a week class that really didn't do much for anybody as I saw it. Don't get me wrong now, I've always been a creative child, I've always been drawing, and always had an eye for things but the way I was looking at things was technical. "You go to college to work. You work to get a job and to work some more." It wasn't until two months ago that I finally realized this facade, this love of writing that I have had for so long was a mind numbing joke. A reason to make me feel like I was working. Ultimately, I do love to write, things that interest me and my own opinion. All those years in english class and college writing courses did not do a thing to make me realize that my gift was in creative writing. Even in that journalism class in high school, we had to make up stories to write journalistically -- I was fooled. Eventually, when taking my first course towards journalism as a major, "Feature Writing"-- I was given topics to research, explain, discover, etc...and I could not do it. I just could not find it within myself to like what it was that I had to do. I asked myself, "Where's the joy I used to have for this?" I honestly thought, I was suffering from a mild case of depression and lost the admiration and all enjoyment in what it is I've wanted to do...for all these years. I was so confused. I still loved to blog but why couldn't I do these assigments? And that's when it hit me -- this was never going to work. And if somehow, I found a way to force myself to do it, I'd never be happy in what I would end up doing with my life. So, I took iniative. Officially, today, I am a Visual Arts major. I even have a plan this time. And honestly, I never felt more happy about anything college until this point. This whole realization, means so much and even though I'm already third year I don't care. I don't care that I'm starting over. So what, I'm not going to graduate when my peers in 4 year colleges do. But when I do graduate, maybe a year or two after them, I'll be happy. I have about two more semesters at county til' I transfer out to, hopefully, Parson's School of Design. I am looking to get into their Art & Design Studies program and eventually settle into either Interior Design or Visual Communications. This is a brand new chapter and I am SO thrilled and anxious to get it started! |