- I have a problem with coming off cold-hearted and sometimes, too straight-foward towards you. I feel you deserve it and then randomly I want your attention all over again. It's as if I think you will come to understand what it is I really need or want from you but at the same time, knowing you never will. I have a hard time grasping the fact that though we may have feelings for each other, we will never work.

- You're a breath of fresh air to me. Although you probably have no idea how I feel and that you are the reason for the pressure in my heart, I don't really care. I only pray that you see and come to feel the same way because around you, I'm so comfortable being who I really am.

- I wish I could live up to your expectations. I wish I could make you proud and do everything that I am supposed to be doing -- according to your standards. Unfortunately, I have no idea how or what my life is to be yet. I have issues with looking too far ahead and I struggle with seeing the present. Because of that, my attempt to make you happy is going down the drain. I may be a collegiate let down and struggling in my studies but I know I'm going through this for a reason and I know I will overcome it all tenfold one day.

- I'm mad you turned out to be someone both us hated as children and young teenagers. Your life is worthless and you're vision of the world is so misconstrued. You do crack cocaine now and believe you need to lie about who you are to everyone just because you believe they will like you better. When really, people are looking at you like you are completely insane. I believed we were going to get married together, have families together, and be friends for life. I guess they weren't lying when they said even the best of friends turn out to be different people. And I am mad that it came down to my finding out that you tried to hook up with my boyfriend for me to figure out that we were different people. I am mad that my being there 24/7 when you were dealing with a loss, meant nothing to you. No matter what though, I pray for you.

- I treasure your friendship. Though we seem to argue a lot, we have a great deal in common and ultimately that is why we get along. You treat me like a sister, even though, sometimes I know you hate that our relationship never became anything more. I do want to apologize for flipping out on you though, when you did make that move. I was scared - scared that your attempt would forever effect our friendship. You see, I think highly of you and respect your intelligence and when someone I ultimately look at as a "brother" makes a move, I admit, I get a bit offended. You know I don't keep many in my circle and those who are in don't look at me in that light and I make sure of it. For whatever reason I can't deal with that in the back of my mind. However, I thank you for staying true to the person you are and continuing to be an amazing friend and an amazing source of advice. You're going to make it one of these days and I'll be right there with you whenever you need me! :)



...that's it for now. lol.