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moonchild
 lover.friend.daughter.sister.jewelry designer. student of life.creative.writer.cancer. native new yorker.residing in new jersey. Instagram
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tomorrow NIGHT im going to LONG ISLAND wo0t wo0t! hamptons..montauk..yeaaa boyyyyy! first visit of thee year..this summer better be off the chains out there..bc im so sick of being bored out my damn ass..all old ppl noo type of young civilization..i need to meet me some damn friends out there..all the ppl my age are in the hamptons..how ima get there to meet ppl? i dunno ima find some sort of transportation bc i am NOT hangin with some old folk this time around..cause if ima do that i might as well go to a senior citizen center an play some bingo. shoot. i just have a feeling this summer out there is gonna be a good one. and if its nice eenough..ill go throw myself on the beach..enjoy the sun the sand the water..ooo..i love it.. :) sport my new bathing suits...whaaat! yall know they were bargains too lmao. im through with spendin over $110 on a dang bathing suit..and the shit fitting me for one month and then POOF something gotta grow.. screw that! its all about the cheap ass bathing suits u can wear forever and look fly as hell in at the same time. yes yes! anywho..im about to go change wash my face turn on some d'angelo and get me some beauty sleep...ttyl! ;) i started work today! yup..it's pretty fun..even though I am the youngest person there..kinda akward..but everybody is real nice. :) & Can we say "easy"? Hosting is soo easy! It's not even funny; most people think "Oh you have to memorize all them table #'s and what not.." I already know all the tables..and I just started. So you KNOW it's easy lol. I'm only going to be working weekends...until school is out. So I do lunches from 11-4, which isn't bad. I don't have a car..so it isn't like I have so many places to go, and I don't hang out with many ppl from school..so w/e lol. Speakin' of ppl from school..Steph came over yesterday! lmao. We are clowns..clowns and shameless fanatics. Let's see..we watched "Poetic Justice", the "All For You Hawaii DVD" Would You Mind extras, and ate danced and acted straight retarded. Not to mention I got a whole talent show re-enactment too lmao.. i heart steph. lmfao WE'RE BETTER OFF ALOOOONE! Right, Steph? lol my love don't cost a thing, thing, thing, thing Ah shoot..lol Anyways..i might b getting my phone tomorroww..hopefully..i need 2 talk to some ppl lol ohhh yea 27 DAYS TIL' JOHN LEGEND!!!!!!!!! AHHH! let me calm down..before i have to take a cold shower..ugh i loove him.. ^_^ WHY am have i heard 'dangerously in love' over 20 times since i got in last night? & crazy in love. everywhere i go..circuit city..this community center..school..the bus..the car..home..goodness. lmao BTW i'm sick! yay! :( -ends sarcasm- i dunno whats wrong with me..i think im exhausted..wtf i did? i dunno.. People..I'm feeling..so..different. I kinda know why..but the point is..I never really felt like this. And another thing..I don't even know..if anything is actually there- did that make sense? lol oh well.. im jus so confident and comfortable with what is goin on and what could "possibly" or is, there. i mean..i hope there is something there..i'd really like for something to brew.. these butterflies, they never lie. its just really weird..and different..and i actually..really very early on..feel this way..which is really really not me..im just very intrigued at the moment.it feels good though..hopefully things work out the way they seem to be. :) then i'd put it into detail...as for now..i just needed to get that out lol yesterday..all day i was fine happy whatever..then these dumb ignorant kids in my class of the day gotta mess with me. i hope this doesn't sound bad..i don't mean for it to, but I'm kind of used to guys passing comments about me..y'know how guys can be..and I get it all the time..and I just learned to ignore it most of the time..but they started irritating me the beginning of class..then one passed a comment i knew was towards me across the room, and then i was called up to the board to do a damn equation and i couldnt even think about wtf I was doin..bc behind me..the animals were makin..just..disrespectful comments...and i started getting angry..i finished the problem and as i walked to my seat, i was like "y'know...yall deserve to be fuckin slapped...you think i dont know..both of yall need a slap..grow the fuck up" then i just got really uncomfortable and upset...i dunno why..it just really really bothered me.. and today i took the wrong allergy pills and was drugged out my ass...i was SOO drowsy..i couldnt even keep my eyes open.. i'll write later..i have to go to staten island and pick up my nephew.. I'M GOIN' TO SEE :  JOHN LEGEND! Yup..June 17th @ Starland Ballroom in Sayerville. My brother Jeremy bought two tickets and said he was taking me for my birthday. What! What! I cannot wait! AHH. Love him to death..anyone who doesn't have his album..go get it. And if you do have it and don't like it..you suck, because it's AMAZING! I'm soo estatic..*twirls around* almost every night dancin til i thought i'd lose my breath now it seems your dancin feet are always on my couch good thing i cook... cause you love to eat it's a damn shame... LMAO. love that tour version. anywho...whats goin on folks? ok i sooo have no desire to write anything..im so tired..so "blah" today... :( i guess i'll either write later or tomorrow if im in a better mood...  So Mimi's new album came out yesterday..I hope all you ppl got it..or else... *grins* It's a good album..yes, it is. Anywho..school was sooo nasty today..a sewer pipe broke or backed up..somethin..but it smelled like vomit ALL DAY...*gags* My school is so broke it is not even funny..poor asses <_< Itty is coming over sooooooon...he's brining chutes and ladders, and candyland.lmao. and some other toys..not really worth mentioning. i dunno why im gonna play these games and hang out when i have to go and re type an essay thats due tomorrow for english..*sigh* my teacher be havin us write out our damn asses..non stop..i mean i love to write..but goddamn..you'd think I have 6 hands.............. hm. lol i gottta gooo..i'll write later.. i wrote a new poem today..while falling asleep in English..i wasn't sure about a title, so i named it "Untitled" Let me know what you think~ edited* The Emancipation of Mimi is out todaaaay! :) GO GET IT! so what's been going on with me? well.spring break was..eh..alright. Spent a lot of time w/ Mercedes driving around and goin to eat. A lot of time with Itty...we had..well..fun i guess..ice cream and movies..and INELS! *dead* Last week went SO fast..I'm doing good in art. I basically aced the semester, english..who knows. See the class is SO easy for me..that I think I just slacked. *sigh* I have no idea why I did that..bc I aced the first part of the 1st semester and the second half well..i didnt do an essay..why? i dunno..no one will ever know. Geometry..STOP THE PRESS! I DID EXCELLENT. what ! what ! I deserve a party I dont think I've ever done really well in ANY math class..(as kirk says..that proves I'm an artist.lmao) But still..I'm soo happpppy. And gym..yo! I GOTTA TELL MY STORY. ok so we're runnin the mile last thursday right? and i started to wheeze bc of my allergies and whatever so I told my teacher I really couldnt breathe too well and this ho got the nerve to tell me "If you stop running you get an F!" and lawd knows I need to get exempt from takin some damn gym final so I ran..and 5 minutes later it was worse..so after gym i figured it will wear off. WRONG! i was in 2nd block for like 3 minutes and i had to go to the nurse bc i could hardly get air into my lungs and they said my heart rate was sky high and that i was experiencing an asthma attack. WHAT! THE GRINCH MADE ME RUN AND I HAD AN ASTHMA ATTACK! *<_<* anyways they sent me home and i used my old inhalers from when i had pnuemonia. but UGH...i swear on oreos..she better not get on my bad side...bc im gon tell her she almost made me kick the bucket. then she wouldve been really upset..with a lawsuit up the ass. stupid ass low life gym teachers.. as for right now i gotta goooo...bc i plan to wake up early to straighten my hair..bc i dont wanna blow dry it..so i gotta go get my beauty sleep. lmao jk. 'nite' Anywho..NEW layout..what! what! I'm enjoying it I think it's simple, yet..intuitive. Yes, intuitive. ^_^ i'll be right back to write more..i have to go shower real quick...chao chao. See..I've been waiting for Spring Break...so I've just been bombarded with focusing on getting all my work in..and even doing that..I have a damn quiz to make up..wtf. BUT! I'm going to start on my essay for my guidance consuelor. I'm going to contribute to her book on Adolescents and High School...and she even asked to design her cover ^_^ !! So this oughta' be interesting. I have decided to be as open as possible with my essay..even though my name with confidential I was kinda skeptical about just letting everything out there..but everything kinda coincides with the subjects and wtf is going on my little world, and I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one who goes/has gone through anything I have. Which is the beauty of sharing experience.. :) Speaking of beauty..my nephew is here for the weekend! he's coming to my cousins house with us for Easter..and my brother is here for the weekend so we're all going together with the whole fam. I love family get togethers...alot of ppl dislike hanging out with their family..but I for one..don't...I get all anxious..lol I don't know why..but those are the ppl that you've ALWAYS known..it's just something about family that makes me feel good..bc you KNOW for the most part, they'll always be there..and you can rely on them. as for now i have to cut this short..because my nephew is getting violent throwing quarters and nickels around the rooom ....ttyL ^_^ Then we went to this store in the village...it was like a bootleg Yankee Candle store..lol but they had sooo much more candles. They even had CREAMED CORN..i was like "Itty..here's the perfect candle for you..." and he goes "Wait...is this a diss? Are you saying I'm corny?" lol They had Roasted Turkey, Honey Glazed Ham, Mashed Potatoes..It was weird...who would buy that? Itty came up with the idea to buy one of each and light them all..and pretend it's Thanksgiving. lmao. I was like "wtf..who does that?!" he was like "Us!" i'm like w/e so he bought all of those...and I bought Honeysuckle, Vanilla, Lavendar Breeze, Roaming Clouds, Red Berry, Cherry Blossom, Sensual Rose, Raspberry Love, and some other mess..but they smell reaaaaalllly good. And they were really really cheap like 2.50 for these HUGE candles. Then we went to Virgin Records in TimeSquare...then to McDonalds for an apple pie on 42nd, and then to the MTV Store...bought a shirt..why? i don't know...it's red..and it has a rabbit peeking from behind a wall and hes saying "YIPPEE, MTV!" lol *shrugs* i thought it was cute. As of right now it's 12:30 and Itty and Justin are hitting me with..bagels? LMAO...we're going to have a Candle party upstairs...and..Thanksgiving..lmfaoo. All this after we drop Justin off home because he has basebaaaaaaalll tryouts tomorrow morning...swang swing swung. lol TTYL. ~BTW...this week has ended better then expected..and i'm grateful to have people like Itty and his brothher for giving me fun and making me happpy! Today was actually a good day.. :) This is officially my jammmm....BTW I never should've let you go I did nothing I was stupid I was foolish I was lying to myself I could not fathom that I would ever Be without your love Never imagined I'd be Sitting here beside myself I didn't know youI didn't know me But I thought I knew everything I never feltThe feeling that I'm feeling now Now that I don't Hear your voice Or even touch or even kiss your lips Cause I don't have a choice What I wouldn't give To have you lying by my side..... ...I only think of you And it's breaking my heart I'm trying to keep it together But I'm falling apart I'm feeling all out of my element I'm throwing things Crying Trying to figure out Where the hell I went wrong The pain reflected in this song Ain't even half of what I'm feeling inside I need you Need you back in my life baby When you left I lost a part of me It's still so hard to believe Come back baby please We belong together Who else am I gonna lean on When times get rough Who's gonna talk to me Till the sun comes up Who's gonna take your place There ain't nobody else We belong together another dragging day...i just cannot wait til this week finally ENDS. people dont take hints..especially people who think they're Gods gift to damn female..well sry..this person is not..and they need to switch this up before I just shut them out. then again..they probably wouldn't give a shit if I did...that, or if I did and suddenly said hi, they'd act all worried like they give a shit. it's either this or all the DENYING has alot to do the reason I am disliking this person. ugh..i am...i'm just fed up with it all..why do i waste my time? WHY?! *turns on 'we belong together'* this is a good song..april 12th..emancipation of mimi..get it. another good song "if i was a bird" by floetry. If I was a bird I'd fly away spread my wings so I'd escape If I was the sky I'd let it rain to wash away the pain *sigh*....i gtg finish writing this controversial persuasive essay for English on sexism and gay rights. the same person..i dunno if im realizing it now because the mood im in or what..but i've been seeing it for awhile of how manipulating this person is..whether or not they realize it. y'know people who tell you one thing...never really go into depth..but keep mentioning bullshit and sort of.."push it in your face". then when they realize that you aint too interested they wanna go turn around on you and try to push something else into your face..hoping that you'd seem interested again or some mess. i dunno bout anyone else..but pricks like that...yes im calling this person out their name because it suits them..but this person is disrespectful and rude..and they try and play it off...ugh..W/E 2 Itty..thanks for everything.. ;) Is it my heart that I should follow? Got me afraid to let myself go Got me scared of you If I let go I don't know if my heart will remain strong cause you the type that just might give it right and get me strung I couldn't be just a girl that your're seeing once a month cause if it goes down better believe I'm gonna be your only one -Scared Hmm...lol thats to you my Itty. haha. anywaysss..lmao..this weekend sucked. It just did. I didn't do much..besides shopped Saturday and Sunday morning. Only because VS had their 5 for $20 sale on all underwear..so might as well add to my damn collection. *shrugs* and they have that new bra the IPEX..what a waste of $45..that is some lousy cheap lookin bra..I have no idea wtf it's supposed to hold.. -_- Oooo! 15 more minutes til' Oprah's movie " There Eyes Were Watching God"...I hope YOU ALL watch. Yea..because Halle Berry is in it..and I seen some clips and some insight on it on Oprah's show Wednesday...It looks realllly reallly good. So watch..!! I'm gonna go fix my chai latte right about now and get myself cozy in my big comfy chair upstairs..ttyL. ;) Anywho..today was a let down. I was thinking we were gonna leave school early because it was supposed to start snowing @ 10. But it didn't start til' 1. Psh..but its snowing now..and we already have a shit load, and it's not stopping til'l tomorrow night...YAY! i know theres no school tomorrow and..im guessing probably none wednesday. *crosses fingers* As for my "dilemma" yesterday...It's done..over with. You will not hear about it again. I got an opinion about it and was told that I'm probably wasting my time, shouldn't deal with a situation with such confusion , i have plenty of other "things" to look into, foward to..you get the idea, and that their head was gased. So basically a loss for the other team..certainly not mine. For my friend..you know who you are..lol Girl..I'm not one to hang around and wait for "signs" or just "pick up" on things. Its either he makes his move, spits his game, or I'm gone. You shouldn't either...in your situation, homegirl..he wants you to make him feel like he's all you have, and you should only give him that if you get it in return. And especially COMMUNICATION..tell him you do not read damn minds. lmao. If he wants it to be healthy he has to talk too..Last time I checked your name is not Ms. Cleo. lol When you read this...call me! yea..my breath has been taken alright..*just breathe* sh!t was so good. everything was nice. and of course stuff comes up out of nowhere to ruin your mood. y'know...I'll look at it with a smile..because everything happens for a reason. Somethings are not meant to be..and I'm fully accepting that now. Probably could do better myself...I think I need to realize how fortunate I am..and I need to stop seeing, picturing, dreaming, and thinking that I know something is going to happen, because it's the main reason alot of things get messed up for me. I jump to too many conclusions. Here's another chapter to my work in progress...and I'm lovin' it. Moving ON.... I'm going to go watch the Oscars red carpet now..and soon after..the actual Oscars show....Let's go Jamie Foxx! |